This Escort Charges $1,000 An HOUR For Her Services And Has Managed To Only Save $200,000 In Five Years
Today marks the day that I learned I’m officially working in the wrong line of business if I want to spend my days laying around being rich as fuck. By “laying around” I mean “having sex with random strangers,” of course, in which case on second thought maybe I just want to be rich as fuck without having to be a prostitute.
Then again, the allure of making $1,000 an hour is pretty strong, and the fact that “Svetlana Z,” as she refers to herself, has managed to save up over $200,000 in only FIVE years while managing to blow over $7,000 a month on rent, clothes, makeup and the gym just sweetens the pot. Sure the possibility of contracting an STD is horrifying, but when you’re only banging rich married white men, your chances aren’t too bad.
Svetlana Z, as she refers to herself, moved to New York from Chelyabinsk, Russia, when she was 19 years old and had $300 to her name. Lured by the promise of quick money, she entered the escort industry and soon made a small fortune by catering to investment bankers, 90per cent of them married.
‘Mostly, I offered understanding,’ she wrote for Medium. ‘The truth is, even for guys who hire me for three or four hours, the sex usually only takes about 15 minutes.’
So in reality she’s actually making $1,000 per 15 minutes, assuming that her clients don’t want to spoon afterwards and talk about how their day went. I’m not sure any amount of money could convince me to spoon with a flabby old man and listen to him talk about business-y things. Faking my way through “enjoyable” sex is one thing, actively listening and pretending to care about people is entirely another.
Svetlana claims that around 98% of men wanted to munch her box, and 80% would ask if she’d reached orgasm while with them, or even go so far as to TELL her that she’d had multiple orgasms before they did. Talk about low self-esteem. But hey, if you can charge extra for dealing with shit like that, then why not?
She refers to one instance in which a client asked to pour honey all over her before they had sex. She agreed – but only after he agreed to pay triple her hourly rate – and she spent the whole rampant session mulling over cleaning the sheets and re-doing her hair and make-up…
Couples were her favorite sorts of clients, and she got to charge double the fee for the same amount – often less – of work.
‘That’s the cool thing about capitalism,’ she points out.
But the most surprising thing that came out of her hooking wasn’t the honey incident or even that most of her clients wanted to talk to her about their kids (ew), was that the guys who went to her were looking for more than just sex – they were looking for some sort of connection.
Initially, Svetlana didn’t give much thought to how she presented herself in her ads, beyond commissioning expensive photo shoots so she looked her best. She quickly learned to up her game, however.
‘What I know now is that guys want to know the women they’re f*****g. It surprised me, but a lot of them – most of them – really need to feel a sort of connection,’ she writes. ‘I always wondered why Playboy ran those little interviews with the girls alongside the photos.
‘Now I know. The guys who are j*****g off want to feel like they know the girl.’
So for those of you who always wondered why Playboy wasted ink on printing interviews instead of just throwing in some more nudies…
Svetlana has now given up her career as an escort and is currently studying filmmaking and psychology at an unidentified school. Take from this story what you will, but all I’ve learned is that if you shoot low and become a hooker there’s a chance you’ll get rich and be able to afford apartments in Manhattan. Which I can’t. So it looks like I might be better off as a hooker.