Everyone Take a Good Look at Andy Moore, Because You’re Never Going to See Him Again
It’s with the appropriate amount of sadness that today, I am announcing that one of our editors, Andy Moore, will be leaving us. For good.
/pause for audience to compose themselves
Andy came into BroBible a spritely young lad, hot on the heels of being handed a degree — that we assume he earned — from Duke University and still armed with the collegiate swagger it takes to do this job. With him, he also brought the same amount of hubris that was required to write this smattering of human excrement (Sorry, Andy, I had to include this. It lives inside all of us now). Day in and day out, Andy blogged his fucking heart out and he was instrumental in BroBible breaking several college stories and helping the site more than triple in size. Now, two full years later — no doubt being better off for the experience — he’s making his exit, from BroBible and the blogging game in general.
/pause for audience to re-hinge their jaws
At the end of this week Andy’s reign of terror as a full-time blogger will conclude and seven days later he will move back to North Carolina to begin his new career as something that shall remain nameless. Believe me, though, Andy has an incredible opportunity in his hands and we’d be massive chunks of the aforementioned human excrement if we even attempted to thwart his exit. So we didn’t. Also, we’re Bros, one of our major flaws is pretending to not give a fuck when an integral piece of our business is leaving us.
Above all, I want to thank Andy for his service. From his torturous Friday afternoons of having set the pile of shit people in the blogging game call Hootsuite; to his eagerness to always do more than what was asked of him; to his tireless Howard Dean “BYAAAAAAH” impersonation; to allowing us relationship-having Bros in the office to live vicariously through his wanton behavior; to even his uncalled for temper tantrums when he lost hours worth of copy because his dumb ass refused to save his work…I appreciated it all. WE, the BroBible and Woven family, appreciated it all. Because those are the things that made Andy truly irreplaceable to us. And yet, we will replace him almost immediately, because life is a frigid, ill-tempered mistress.
I speak on behalf of our entire staff when I say we hate to see Andy leave, but we want to congratulate him on his new career and also his miraculous escape from the shackles of working on the Internet. For the last two years, Andy crawled and sifted through miles and miles of the Internet’s shit, seeing EVERY terrible news story and tragedy along the way and he still managed to come out clean on the other side.
(Yes, I just compared blogging to being imprisoned at Shawshank. But wait! There’s more Shawshank-iness…)
It’ll make me sad, though… Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I’ll just miss my friend.
Cue the music…