These People Freaking Out Over A Black Bear Rummaging Through Their Car Need To Calm TF Down

Guys. It’s a bear. It’s outside, not in your house and it’s not on rampage, so calm the fuck down. All you gotta do is wait for it to leave, then hop in your car and go on whatever stupid vacation you had planned.

That’s assuming it doesn’t have rabies. If that bear has rabies it’s infected your car just by looking at it (I’m an online veterinarian, so I should know), which means you’re going to need to burn your car and buy a new one. Feel free to burn it in any manner of your choosing, included but not limited to:

Dropping a match into the gas tank
Missile launchers
Driving it over a cliff
Shouting mean things at it until it gets depressed and kills itself

Again, let me stress that I am an online veterinarian, which means I am qualified to make these suggestions.