These Are The Funniest (Possibly NSFW) Reasons Students Have Been Sent To The Principal’s Office

by 3 years ago


I’m trying to think of the most f’d up reason that I ever got kicked out of class or sent to the principal’s office and all I’m coming up with is ‘smoking cigarettes near the portable buildings’. If we’re being completely honest here I was an absolute dickhead, the world’s biggest asshole from the age of about 12 to 14, and I was kicked out of class on the regular before I got my shit together and became the greatest and most humble student the world has ever known. Going back to me unable to think of the truly great reasons I got clicked out of class though, while I’m having trouble remembering my best reasons for getting kicked out I enjoyed the crap out of these stories from teachers on the best reasons they’d ever sent students to see the principal. Let’s check ’em out:

Girl got so drunk that she locked herself in the bathroom.
We found her and obviously had to call her parents to come take her home. We kept telling her, “Listen, it’s your dean and you have to unlock the door.”
She kept responding in the horrible drunk teenager voice, “No YOU listen….I’m YOUR dean.” It was very difficult for us to not break down in laughter.
Stupid kids.

There was a student with Autism who lived in a very literal world, we’ll call him, T. You had to be precise with your words as T could not comprehend slang or figurative language. He had an issue with another student at recess the day prior. It was something minor about a basketball. Basically, T had a basketball and placed it under the goal and walked away, another student grabbed it, T became angry and ultimately gave the ball to the other student rather begrudgingly. Apparently, T told his uncle and the uncle’s response was, “I’d have made that kid eat a shit sandwich!” Well, T made a quick stop by the litter box before coming to school. He also wrote a note to the other kid saying, “I get the ball today, you can have this shit sandwich.” It wasn’t a gesture he viewed as inappropriate, he actually thought the shit sandwich was a viable option for the other student. I had to send him to the office, but my god did I laugh. Even his mom laughed before aplogizing. The principal still has the note in the office 2 years later.

We were doing sketch comedy in 6th grade a few years back and seeing as it was a nice day we went outside to practice. From across the field I see one of my students very clearly and aggressively trying to put his junk on a prone classmate. When I asked him, he said it was for his sketch and he was playing a character named “the iron teabag”.
The best was the follow up text from my boss saying “I had to Google what teabagging was before I met with the kid”

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