Girl Tries Butt Stuff For The First Time While Drunk, Winds Up Getting A Fiery Dose Of NOPE Instead

by 2 years ago


Nothing wrong with trying butt stuff, but at the same time you gotta make sure you’re prepared: lube, patience, more lube and a squeaky clean butthole are must-haves. You can’t barge through the backdoor dry unless you’re looking to have a pissed-off girlfriend. Luckily for Redditor TIFU_AssFuckEdition, he knew enough to at least throw some lube on that dick…unluckily, it wasn’t lube:

Last night my husband, “Dan” and I celebrated New Year’s Eve with his family. We were both drinking, and just having a good time. After counting down the new year, we went inside and his mom told us just to sleep in his sister’s room.

The alcohol intensified both of our libidos, so we started making out. Things began to escalate, and Dan said, “Hey, let’s do butt stuff.” So, in my drunken state, I replied, “Why the fuck not.”

He started trying to put it in, but between being intoxicated and it being too dry, it just wasn’t going to happen. Dan started looking around his sister’s room for some lotion and found two bottles. There was a tube of lotion and a squirt bottle, so he went with the squirt bottle out of convenience.

He put the lotion on his dick, and slowly started to put it in. I was drunk to the point that it didn’t hurt too badly, and it was going in fairly easily.

Around a minute later, the lotion started getting really cold to the point it burned. I yelled at him to stop, and he pulled out. We both started writhing in pain.

Turns out, he used fucking menthol lotion. My vagina and ass burned like a bitch, and he ended up burning his penis and penis hole.

On the bright side, the next morning I was putting the tubes of lotion back in place, and low and behold, the tube of “lotion” was actually acrylic paint. So I guess it could’ve been worse.

TL;DR:Got drunk, got fucked in the ass, and now my shit is minty fresh.

[Via Reddit]

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