I’m not saying that you any of you bros suck in bed, but statistically speaking there’s at least a handful of our tens of millions of readers who could use some advice on improvement. And there’s no formula to having mind-blowing sex, but there are some loose guidelines you can follow that’ll improve any and every sexual situation. Thankfully for anyone looking to become better between the sheets a ton of girls shared their secrets to having mind-blowing sex, and I’ve collated all of those secrets into an easily readable format for you bros below.
The responses came from a thread over on AskReddit titled ‘[Nsfw] Girls of reddit, what is that one thing that makes all the difference before/during/after sex?’, and I’ve pulled only the best/ones worth reading for you bros. So get to scrolling if you’re interested in unlocking all the secrets of sex (WARNING: some of the reading material below may be considered ‘NSFW’ for some of you so read at your own risk)
The best sex I’ve had is sex that made me feel beautiful and desired. Before sex, look at me with that hunger. Tell me I’m gorgeous. Take in my body, even the bits I hate, don’t avoid looking at that bit of flab or cellulite or whatever because I might feel self conscious – look at it, and love it, even though it’s not perfect.
During sex, let me know how much you’re enjoying it. Show me with your actions, your expressions, the look in your eyes. Tell me how good something feels, or that you love my ass, or whatever you’re thinking at the time.
Afterwards, lie with me. Trace the curves of my body with your fingertips. Tell me it was amazing. Kiss me.
Show me that you want me, make me feel like a sexy goddess, not like a hole you happen to put your dick in.
The following suggestions are based on situations inside a monogamous relationship. I had lots of sex before my current relationship, but I must say my current relationship features consistently the best sex I’ve had in my life. Some disclaimers:
I am very submissive in the bedroom. I don’t starfish but I like to be lead and owned with this aspect of my life. If your lady is more dominant, some of these things may not work.
Before: I want to be shown not only that I’m wanted, but that I’m cared for and loved. Hold my face as you kiss me, trace the outside of my lip with your thumb, firmly but gently hold the back of my neck. Sensual and romantic sex isn’t always what I want, but if my boyfriend starts this way ( which he usually does) it will almost always end in sex; whichever flavor it might be that day.
During: For me, enough kissing like that will usually get me splooshy enough. Doesn’t matter: don’t stop there with the foreplay. Foreplay is tricky because it depends on what I want that day. Sometimes I like being kissed/bitten on the neck and shoulders. Sometimes I like harder nipple play. Sometimes I want him to pull my hair back and growl that I’m his “little slut” in my ear.
But sometimes I want eye contact, longing glances and deep kisses. Sometimes I want body caresses and gentle nipple/clitoris play. I’ll usually signal what I want with moans (more on that later) or play off what kind of sex my partner wants.
I always want vocal involvement. Every man I have been with has been quiet in bed, except for my current boyfriend. Him showing, vocally that he enjoys being inside me is a huge confidence boost and also super sexy.
Speaking of vocal involvement: follow my signals with mine. I moan because it feels good but also to give my partner a concrete assessment of what positions or activities I like more. If you are particularly practiced and are not going to wildly poke your lady’s cervix, might I suggest man on top with woman’s ankle on man’s shoulders. That position with my current partner made me squirt for the first time in my life.
After: Tell me you had fun. Give my butt a little pat. Help me find my underwear. Cuddle and smooch me when I get back from the bathroom. Maybe eat some post-coitus food with me in bed.
Paying attention! Watch how she reacts and respond appropriately. She’ll more than likely return the favor.
And if she says ‘Just like that! Don’t stop!’? Actually keep doing what you were doing. Do not speed up. Do not do it harder. Do not pass go.
well if I had to sum everything that makes a difference into one thing it would be this “the partner’s attitude”.
I don’t have any experience with same sex partners but speaking from my experience with male partners, I think that the biggest turn on is when you realise that your partner really wants you, not some girl and you just happen to be there but you yourself, and that they want to make you feel good as much as they want to feel good themselves. Make the experience a pleasurable one for both parties, try to be respectful, don’t make girls do things they’re reluctant to do and treat them like equals.
Foreplay, making sure the woman is enjoying herself and not just being expected to take a dick without being wet.
Lick the bowl clean
If this is your thing: If you’ve slapped each other around a bit during sex, making sure to treat welts, sores or bruises.
Communication! Listen and don’t be afraid to be vocal about what your wants and needs are. Also, some women like a man that can express his sexual pleasure during sex through moaning etc. There’s something primal about it imo.
Enthusiasm is definitely a plus. Though you hear more about it regarding women, men “starfishing” is annoying as hell.
just still feeling that connection is wonderful. touch me and love me with the same passion you did before we made love. and thats how you’ll keep it alive.
Funk all this romantic face tracing, hip kissing, romantic cuddling after bullshit, I just want my guy to make some noise during sex. Hot as fuck.
Foreplay. Eat my pussy, suck my nipples, maybe eat a little groceries, and kiss me everywhere, between my thighs, my hips, my stomach, my neck, bite my neck and my lips.
I’m treating this as a three part question.
Before I have sex, I make sure to tidy up and prepare my vaginal area for what is to come. Basic things first, like scraping off gunky buildup and changing filters, but more involved stuff, too. It makes all the difference.
I cut my hedges back a bit, removing any critters and debris as I do. If it’s near a holiday, I’ll channel a little Martha Stewart and trim my public area into a festive shape. Maybe a little shamrock for St. Patrick’s Day or the outline of a pack of cigarettes that dad has apparently never managed to purchase after seventeen years for Father’s Day.
Vaginal smell is an issue for me. I can’t really enjoy someone diving into my muff if I’m worried they’ll encounter the dead seabass odor I’m cursed with on account of my being 1/7 Dutch. So I mix together a solution of peroxide and baking soda and then shoot it up inside myself with a turkey baster. Besides going a long ways towards freshening up my beef wallet, it also gives me a reason to use my baster more than once a year (x-post to /r/frugal if you’d like).
Lastly, I place a shirt near my hammock (the shirt comes into play later), then I check to see if my vaginal IED is properly secured. I use a particular brand only available in Old Mexico. It’s called “NuevaRing” and it does everything that NuvaRing does at a third of the cost. It isn’t really a big deal if the thing fails, though. I have a great abortionista. She is an absolute miracle worker. Well, maybe more of a reverse miracle worker actually…
During sex, I find putting a bag over my head makes a huge difference. A paper one, that is. It’s better for the environment and I won’t pass out like I do with the plastic ones.
Why a bag over the head, you ask? Two reasons. One, I’m not very attractive. At all. And it only gets worse as I contort my facial muscles whilst in the throes of coital expression. I go from looking like Jim Carrey in The Mask to just plain looking like Eric Stoltz in Mask. Not easy to maintain an erection when faced with that. The other benefit is that it prevents me from drooling on my partner, which is something that my family is sadly prone to doing during times of arrousal. Again, 1/7 Dutch.
After sex, rather than letting my newfound splooge linger like some salty freeloader, I put it to work. After dressing myself in the shirt I placed nearby in advance, I make my way to the backdoor of my bungahole, pause briefly to check for gators, then crow-hop across my backyard to the garden. There, I squat over my papaya plants and drizzle jizz unto them. I’m told it’s what the Native Americans did on the first Columbus Day. It also happens to be twice as effective as Miracle Gro and makes my papayas taste great, too!
Tl;Dr — Tidy up the fun zone before, bag over the head during, and fertilize papaya plants after.
You can read through all of the AskReddit responses by clicking any of those links above, but in general all of the responses can be summarized like this: be attentive. If she’s loud you match her intensity, if she’s into something you make sure to take notice of that. Just follow the signals and you’re sex life will improve.