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Sup fuckers. I’m sure most of you know me by now, but in case you’re an idiot my name’s Rebecca Martinson and I’m one of the Associate Editors here at BroBible. Long story short, I’ll be taking over the Ask A Babe column from here on out, so get ready to have a plethora of maybe helpful answers to your woes and worries. If you have any interesting questions yourself feel free to submit them over here and I’ll pick the most interesting ones. Of course, if they’re boring I’m going to ignore you.
Don’t be boring.
Now that the introduction’s out of the way, let’s see what we have this week.
Q: I have been hooking up with a girl for about 3 months now. How can I tell if she is willing to give head? I don’t want to force anything.
A: You have a conversation in the heat of the moment that goes something like this:
You: Suck my dick?
Her: Yes/No/Maybe
Dude, it’s been 3 months. If she didn’t blow you in the first week of hooking up it’s probably not gonna happen. There’s a chance she’s up for it, but since you didn’t seem to give a shit (read: were a giant pussy and couldn’t ask for a fucking blowie), she figured she could get away without blowing you. Most chicks don’t like giving head, so if they can avoid it they will. Stop being a weenie and ask.
Q: I got this girls number who is extremely hot, straight up DIME. I, myself, am probably an 8, I’m good-looking but nowhere as good looking as her. We texted every day for months but nothing came of it because of two busy schedules etc., although she agreed to two dates and bailed on both with excuses.
My question is: how far do looks come into play when two people want to be in a relationship? She might want an extremely hot guy to match herself, but we connect very well, so will a very hot girl go out with an average looking dude? And what will be the elements that come into play to make her go out with you? IS IT POSSIBLE?!!!!
A: Believe it or not, chicks usually aren’t as shallow as guys are when it comes to dating people. If she really likes you, she’ll probably date you, barring some sort of skin disease that makes you look like a patient in a burn ward who managed to contract a case of leprosy in his spare time. The only time girls really sit there and think to themselves “Hmm, I need a HOT guy to drunkenly rail me out sometime in the near future” is when they’re on the prowl, which doesn’t sound like your situation.
As far as “elements that come into play” (what the fuck does that even mean), don’t be a douche, show that you’re interested but don’t be a creepy little shit about it. Just wait to see where it goes.
Q: I have a once in a lifetime chance to take a private jet to new Orleans, stay in the guest house on an old plantation home, have a private driver and limo, free VIP access to all the bars and clubs, free food and free tickets to the voodoo music fest during Halloween weekend.
The problem is, my friend that invited me is a girl but she invited both me and my girlfriend. She’s honestly a great friend of mine and there are no feelings (she’s dating another friend of mine), but it would just be the three of us and my gf is considering not going because she would feel awkward and her friend’s birthday is that weekend also and doesn’t want to miss that but gets upset that I still want to go.
A: How is this a question? Why would you NOT go?? Who the fuck passes up FREE FOOD??? There are starving children in 3rd world countries you dick, if you don’t go eat enough for all of them combined then you’re a selfish douche.
But forreal, go. Tell your girlfriend that she shouldn’t feel awkward because honestly, that’s dumb. You’re the only one that knows BOTH of the girls who’d be on the trip since your girl doesn’t know your friend, so the two chicks are gonna end up chatting and spending time together and getting to know each other, therefore making it less awkward…unless your girl has no social skills, in which case I say ditch her and hit the VIP buffet without her.
Plus, who passes up all that stuff for a friend’s birthday? I’m assuming you’re in college, which means that her friend’s birthday is going to equate to a house/apartment party and/or bars, aka the same as every other weekend. Tell your girlfriend to tell her friend she’s dying of Ebola and then run off to VIP land with her.
Q: I joined a fraternity and formal is coming up. My date is a girl who I met recently. We’ve hooked up a few times, and we would text a bunch after we first met. We still hang out some, but if I text her she either doesn’t respond or sends two messages back and won’t respond. If this happens, I wait another day to text her, just to not annoy her and let her live her own life. This has been going on for two weeks.
My question is, should I keep trying to make everyday conversation with her or should I just take her to formal and leave her alone after?
A: First off, my answer all depends on what you’re texting her. If you’re saying boring shit like “How is your day?”, well duh she’s not responding. What are you, her Dad? Texting for the sake of having a conversation is stupid, unless the conversation is flirty. Take this for example:
You: Hey what’s up
Her: Nothing much, you?
You: Not much!
Versus,
You: Hey cutie 😉 Whatcha up to?
Her: Haha just got out of the shower, you know
You: Want me to come dry you off?
See the difference? One is boring and sounds like I’m talking to someone over the age of 40 while the other might get you laid if you play your cards right.
That’s the first thing. Second off, there’s a chance that she doesn’t actually give a shit about you and just wants to go on your frat’s formal. Shit sucks, but there’s girls out there who bang a guy a few times right before formal season rolls around just so that the chances of getting asked on an away weekend are higher. Hell, I’ve done it, and my friends have done it too. If she doesn’t want to talk to you then take the hint, at least you’ll get a hopefully-not-shitty cooler out of it.
Of course, this all depends on how your formal goes. If she’s all about you that weekend then stick on it, but if she ditches you for her friends then drop it; she was there for the free mini vacation from campus.
Got more questions? Submit them here.
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