Guy Attempts To Surprise His Girlfriend In The Shower So He Can Get A BJ, Only She Wasn’t In The Shower

by 4 years ago

Any guy worth his salt knows shower sex sucks. Most of us learn, at a very young age, that water is not our friend and it’s the worst lubricant on the fucking planet. Usually that first realization happens when we’re trying to mow ourselves down in the shower and we accidentally get our conditioner-lathered hand wet, resulting in a nightmarish jerk sesh. The good news is, we walk away from it being better off for having had the experience, because it’s one of the few mistakes men actually learn from.

Several years after that first sexual encounter with water, we’re once again reminded of how terrible it is when we take our first shot at having shower sex. We go in thinking it’s going to be a wet n’ wild time. We leave exhausted, unfulfilled and having learned that water not only destroys conditioner, but also a vagina’s natural lube. Not to mention, you have to be a goddamn contortionist to bang in most showers.

This is how shower sex usually scars dudes. Not this guy, though. He’s scarred for a way different reason.

Per TIFU on Reddit:

Throwaway for obvious reasons. This happened yesterday morning.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months and we’re both 17. Her mom likes me so she does not mind when I sleep over at their house. My girlfriend lives with her mom and her mom’s parents. Her mom is pretty young (<40) and her grandma is only 59, so everybody in the house is relatively young. I’m legally blind and my glasses are really strong.

My girlfriend, her mom, and her grandma all sound relatively the same. They’re all brunettes and pretty short. Very early in the morning, I woke up briefly to see my girlfriend going to the bathroom. I sleep on the outside, so anytime she leaves the bed I wake up. Apparently I fell back asleep very quickly and did not remember her climbing into bed. So, when I woke up again a short time later, I heard singing from the shower, and I thought I would hop in. I went into the bathroom, took my glasses off, and said “surprise!” and then entered the shower.

There was silence, and I can’t remember the exact wording, but I asked for head since I had a boner and a boner’s gotta go.

It was the grandma.

TL;DR: Did not think nearly hard enough in the morning and highly disturbed my girlfriend’s grandma, and her mom, because they all know now.

If true, this kid should get LASIK surgery the very day he becomes eligible.

[H/T Reddit]