Guy Dies After Choosing The Worst Place To Masturbate That Nearly Every Person Visits Daily

by 2 years ago


58-year-old Clifford Ray Jones was doing what millions of people do every day without a single worry in their mind: driving. And while some people don’t wear their seatbelts, some don’t use their turn signals and others speed 30+ over the speed limit, Clifford violated the rules of the road by violating himself:

Clifford was masturbating behind the wheel…to porn on his phone.

For starters I’d like to say this isn’t funny because Clifford wound up dying, but at the same time DUDE…you couldn’t pull over? Exit off the road to a rest stop? Sit in the corner of a McDonald’s parking lot and jerk it in your car? Call me vanilla, but if I’m masturbating it’s in the comfort of my own home, not while I’m zipping down the road at 60 mph and up. According to Metro,

The 58-year-old was pleasuring himself on Detroit’s Interstate 75 in the small hours on Sunday and failed to notice his car roll out of control.

It then crashed, ejecting Jones, who was not wearing a seat belt, through the sun roof of the ’96 Toyota.

Police reportedly found Clifford’s body at 3:30 a.m. without any pants on, and Michigan State Police Lieutenant Mike Shaw told CBS Detroit that Clifford’s crash was “one of the most bizarre crash causes he had ever heard of.”

[H/T Metro]

TAGSdumb crimeMasturbatingMasturbationwhoopsWTF

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