This Guy Replaced His Teen Daughter’s Hidden Vodka Stash With Water, The Plan Blew Up Right In His Face
Usually this story is the other way around: The parent is the person who suffers from constantly watered-down booze, not the teen. Everyone knows that. When your parents aren’t looking, you fill up water bottles with whatever is in the liquor cabinet and then you expertly replace what you took with water or iced tea. Then, weeks later, your dad eventually finds it and confronts you. Everyone in the conversation knows what happened, but you’re not an idiot and you think he is. You won’t admit guilt and you pretend to be flabbergasted as to how that would happen. You may even offer asinine suggestions about how he can be better at storing his liquor so it won’t spoil.
Me: “Maybe the lid wasn’t on securely and air got in? I think I heard that could happen.”
Him: “Yeah, maybe that explains WHY MY FUCKING WHISKY TASTES LIKE CRYSTAL LIGHT!”
Me: “I don’t know, man. That is a weird thing for it to taste like. I do agree with you there.”
That is what usually happens. Not for the dad in this story. He wasn’t trying do hide the fact that he was drinking his daughter’s booze, though, he was filling it up with water to get sweet, sweet revenge because she took something his. Something he held so close to his heart that he hides it from his family. I’m of course talking about his cookie stash.
Per Reddit’s TIFU:
My teenage daughter has a nasty habit of eating my cookies. She knows they’re my special cookies but she doesn’t care. If she finds where I hide them, she eats them. The other day I went to my special cookie hiding place and found that, yet again, she had eaten them. I went up to her room in the vain hope that she might have left me perhaps one but sadly, no.
What I did find in her room though was a bottle of vodka, obviously bought in preparation for her going out later that night. Ha! I thought to myself.. Steal my cookies will ya? Right, two can play at that game. So I emptied the contents of the bottle into an empty bottle I had and replaced it with water and screwed the top back on tightly and slipped it back into her bag. I chuckled to myself at the thought of the disappointment that she and her friends would be experiencing in a few short hours.
That evening, I waited for her call but there was not a peep. The next day, when she came back, I asked her how her evening had gone. “Oh,” she replied, “it was weird… we had some vodka but when we drank it, it was water!” Grinning to myself but giving her my very serious dad’s face, I asked what they had done. “Well,” she said, “we just took it back to Tescos and they replaced it with a new bottle for us!”
WTF Tescos?? A bunch of teenagers come in with a bottle of water and you replace that with a bottle of vodka?? FFS..Teenage daughter – 1, Dad – 0 And to add insult to injury, a few days later, this letter arrives from Tescos:
Edit: Since everyone’s clamouring to know WHAT KIND of cookies they were and many have clearly got confused into thinking they were THAT kind of special cookie, here ya go, in all their King of Biscuits glory :
Edit 2: Wow.. have woken up to my first ever gold. Thank you very much! I’m not entirely sure what that actually means yet but once I’ve finished my coffee I’ll look into it.
Edit 3: I feel like I should address the cookie vs biscuit issue as this is getting a lot of comments. Yes, I’m British and of course these are biscuits but I spent about a third of my life living in Japan, where they’re called cookies and in all honesty, the two words are interchangeable in my head and I use both quite happily. mmmm…biskies!
I was sure his “special cookies” had to be chocked full of weed. Knowing that they’re not just makes me feel worse for the poor bastard.