‘Freelance Porn Star’ In Hot Water After Stripping Naked In Front Of Public Bus Full Of People (VIDEO)
Define a “freelance porn star” however you like, but in this case “Johnny Pistol” wasn’t much more than just another idiot on the street who thinks wagging his dick around in the air is the epitome of comedy. According to Mirror, the above video took place on Trafford Road in Eccles and was originally posted to Pistol’s Twitter account. I am not going to link you to his Twitter, because there is no good reason you could possibly have to want to go there. What, are you tryna peep at the uncensored footage of his dick? Fuck outta here, I know you’ve (hopefully) got better shit to do with your time.
Transportation officials, however, do not find this video as amusing as Pistol does, as a spokesman has released the following statement:
“This is an obscene and dangerous act so close to the road.
“Like many other road users, our professionally trained drivers would be encouraged to report such incidents to the police as soon as it was safe to do so.”(via)
Dangerous? Why, because the driver might see this guy’s dick and crash into a fence? Listen real close here everyone, because I’m about to dish out some hard truths:
Your dick is not impressive.
It may be big, it may be thick, but it still is just a dick.
No one wants to look at your dick long enough that they’d wind up crashing their car.
In fact, no one wants to look at your dick more than they have to, which in this case is anything upwards of .0001 seconds.
With all those fun facts in mind, I wonder if said spokesman was able to give that statement with a straight face…or maybe he was sittin’ there, dicks all over his face and all up in his mind, wondering where Johnny Pistol would strike next. Europe is a strange, strange place sometimes.