A Step-by-Step Guide to Picking Up Chicks at the Gym

That last guy? He’s a dick, because A) His condescending use of “sweetheart” pissed me off and B) He knows how to get attention at the gym but is clueless when it comes to making the next move. Contrary to popular belief, the gym is not a bad spot to meet women. With the ability to spot the right target and adjust your regular pick-up techniques, getting her number will be easier than your workout.

Step 1: Evaluate your reason for being there. If you go to the gym to meet girls, you’re already a step behind. Spotting a hottie is a perk to your workout, not your sole reason for being there. Work on your body, up your confidence and without trying, you’ll begin to garner some attention. Having said that, there is no need to try and impress us with extra heavy weights and grunts that sound like you’re about to shit yourself. We don’t respond well to huge guys with no necks who “lift things up and put them down.” We respond to guys who are in shape and self-assured.

Step 2: Make friends with the staff and managers. Start with a warm smile and hello every time you walk in the door. Ask how they are and mean it. Make small talk. Flirt with some of the female staff if necessary. Doing this will establish you as a positive presence in your facility. Women will pick up on that positive energy and your confidence will be greater.  If everyone knows you and seems to be your friend, she will start to wonder why. The seed has been planted and you haven’t even looked at her yet.

Step 3: Talk to most women at the gym. Whether you find her sexually attractive or not is irrelevant. I’m not suggesting you strike up conversation but a smile or “hi” is sufficient. If a horrifically tragic Butterface asks you a question about a machine, don’t snub her. This is for two reasons:

1. It reestablishes your image as the nice guy and separates you from the meathead douchebags who only talk to the hotties.

2. The sexy gym-goers may notice and feel slightly jealous or at least wonder why you chose to talk to the troll instead of her.

“A man on an elliplical machine is no man at all”

Now we have established you as a guy to know at the gym. So let’s get to targeting your prospects. It is hard to categorize women working out in the gym but there essentially  three types. The elusive, the mute and the socializer.

The elusive is mysterious because you can’t figure out where the hell she goes. You see her walk in wearing her yoga pants and tight neon top and then she’s gone. She emerges out of nowhere about an hour later, slightly sweaty and heading into the women’s locker room. This girl like her yoga, Pilates, Zumba and boot camp classes. You will rarely see her in the main part of the gym. She may be unattainable unless you are able to get a quick hi in before she heads into the ladies.

The mute is wearing an old t-shirt, has her headphones in at all times and avoids eye contact with virtually everyone. She is usually looking at the floor as she moves from machine to machine and speaks to no one. Avoid this one no matter how attractive she may be. She is there for the work out and not to socialize. She would find any type of approach as an annoyance.

The socializer is your main target. She is always talking with someone, smiling and looking around often. Male attention boosts her self-esteem and she feeds off of that. But here is the catch. Most guys are more than willing to give her what she wants, but you are not most guys. When you cross paths you give her a smile or say hi and then leave her alone for the rest of the workout. This will make you more intriguing and mysterious to her. Don’t get on the treadmill next to her and start a conversation. It’s impossible to carry a conversation while you are running anyway.

“Hey babe, I'm so hot for your wide lat spread”

The main rule is to not treat the gym like you would a club or bar. This is not a one shot deal. You plant the seed, give her your panty-dropping smile and leave her alone. After two or three encounters like that it is cool to go up to her in a non-threatening space like when she’s stretching or near the water fountain. It’s also okay to offer your help if she’s staring at a machine with a lost look. If this ignites a conversation, that’s cool but refrain from asking for her number unless she offers it.

After initial contact, and you see her again make an effort to walk by but don’t go over to hangout. She will be waiting for another enjoyable encounter with you and if she is interested, she will initiate conversation. If you become workout buddies, avoid talking about things that are too personal. You don’t want to fall into the friend zone. Talk about the typical first date ice breakers: friends, school, work, what she likes to do etc. When you fill up your water bottle, offer to fill up hers too. Turn up the charm and then seal the deal by asking if she wants to grab a coffee one day after your work out. If it goes well ask her if she wants to hangout one weekend and before you know it you will be working out your arms while on top of her.

This may sound like a lot of work but realistically you barely have to do anything. The initial three steps of establishing your presence are the most crucial and from there you will see a bunch of potential pick-ups open up. The only way you could blow it is by rushing into it or coming off to strong. Just like working out itself, it will take time, dedication and patience but the end result is worth the daily grind.