How to Score the Office Hottie, Plus What to Do When Your Ex Sends Naked Photos

by 6 years ago

Q: I have a co-worker who's beautiful– she literally has been hit on by every guy with a pulse at my workplace and she just blows them off to the point even the most determined guy gave up hope. When I finally got to talk to her she was really down to earth and cool and seemed to actually like me. So I added her on Facebook then sent her my number but she never called or texted now she's like super awkward when we work together wtf did I miss here!?!?

A: What did you miss? A whole lot, apparently. First of all, you guys are wildly indiscrete.

All of you. At the gym, airport, dinner or work, dudes are incapable of being sneaky when it comes to staring. If you were Hot Office Girl, being blatantly drooled over, hit on and mentally undressed by every coworker in your office…all day, every day…you would be quick to brush off another lame attempt too—especially if it was via Facebook.

Don’t be a dude and say she’s lucky because while it may be to her advantage sometimes, for the most part, it just f*cking sucks. 

She's the only piece of meat at the watering hole, and you guys are a bunch of hungry (read: horny) jackals (read: jackasses). You came on too strong, became another guy at the office and blew it for good. But I’m sure she’ll laugh about it with her fiancé when she gets home.

Q: So I went hiking with this chick, we clicked and exchanged numbers. Hell, she even asked me to go on lunch during the hike. Problem is, I know she went on the hike to try and talk to my best friend some more. Of course, I discussed with my man if he was into her – and he is not. I am trying to set this up, but she keeps saying she is too busy due to work (she works 70 hours a week).

I'm feeling that I was a pillow/crutch for her ego because my buddy ignored her, but now she's having second thoughts and you know – has no more use for me – hence the 'too busy' thing. My question is: if a girl is really into you, would she make time outta her busy schedule to see you?

A: So you’re stepping into the backup role– tricky, but it can be done.

Your friend is playing as his own personal cock block, so you have that angle covered. Now you have to play off of his downfalls/mistakes to make yourself look good, pique her interest, and make her realize what an obvious, standout pick you are. And once she does realize it, she’ll stop lying about being so busy and want to hang out with you.

Your friend may be Eli Manning, but you’re Steve Young. Wait for your shot, and when you get it don’t blow it.

Q: So last semester I was hooking up with this girl for about 2 months and we were basically together. Then we went on winter break and got back and she acted very weird, saying we didn't keep in touch. She continued to text me randomly during the spring semester and I didn't know what to think of it till I found out she was seeing someone else on campus. It's now the summer and she's been texting me and sexting me naked pictures and saying she “misses me” all the time, even though she is still with her BF. How do I go about this for the upcoming semester because I kind of still like her. Should I keep talking to her? Or tell her I don't want to talk to her while shes seeing someone else? Help a brotha out.

A: Nudies eh? Nice. (/Skanky). However, my gut tells me that you aren’t the only bro in the frat house receiving those exact thrilling sexts.

I say catch her off guard, and ask her if her boyfriend knows she’s sending the pictures. Her reaction will tell you if her relationship is dwindling and she’s into you, or if she’s actually just behaving in an unacceptably slutty manner for no reason. 

Q: How pathetic am I?

I dated a girl for 6 years when I was a younger bro (not very bro like) and we broke it off after I went to college. I threw up hall of fame numbers like a mixture of Jordan and Manning (not that pansy Payton, but 2x superbowl MVP Eli). But now here I am 26, working a legitimate job and finding myself in a situation where I don't want to sleep around anymore and want something more serious. Hell, I find myself thinking more about that HS girlfriend now more then ever though she become a complete C U NEXT TUESDAY (NYC fashionista). But she has become my ::whisper:: “Great White Buffalo” and even girls who are certainly up to par I will put to the side because I believe she is just biding her time in NYC until I get my act completely together… or am I just a schmuck and should go for someone who likes me for me?

A: Pathetic? A little. Schmuck? Sure. Either way you need to lock, it, up.

You're only doting on this girl because she's your only point of reference for a functional and truly intimate relationship.

This should be clear from the fact that you called her a “Complete C U NEXT TUESDAY” and a fashionista in the same sentenc  

“The C*nt that got away”… classic.

Stop crying into your half empty glass of bourbon while reminiscing about how good it was back in ‘04, and start living in the now. Don’t make any booty calls tonight. Instead, ask a girl on a date—in advance. Start really looking for your Abby Manning.

You f*cked it up with high school girlfriend, and I promise you, she most certainly is not waiting for you in New York. Or anywhere.

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