If you’ve flown out of JFK airport recently, you might have noticed that the TSA isn’t giving the same amount of fucks that they used to. For instance, I flew out of there on Thursday and when I was about to go through security, an agent quickly pushed me and two friends to the TSA “pre-screened” line; a place where you don’t have to take off your shoes, take out your computer, showcase all the embarrassing toiletries you’ve brought with you on the trip, or go through the full-body scanner. Suffice it to say, it’s a wonderful line of privilege.
For the record, I was never “pre-screened” by the TSA in order to be able to use this line. I technically shouldn’t have been in it, and yet, the last three times I’ve flown out of JFK I have been sent to it each time. But fuck it, right? A handsome, American as fuck-looking guy like myself should be sent there automatically. Everyone knows this.
Anyway, Canadian woman, Nyesha McPherson, was flying to Barbados from JFK and hoped that her checked bags would receive the same, look-the-0ther-way treatment. They did not. And that sucks for her because she packed them full of goodies.
According to Gothamist:
According to the TSA, “the officers saw the suitcases were jam-packed with cans and boxes for baby wipes, coffee, floor dusting sheets, lemonade mix, iced tea mix, a box of cat litter and a box of laundry tablets. But none of those boxes or cans contained the products on the labels.”
TSA officers allegedly found “two disassembled .40 caliber handguns, 350 rounds of ammunition, four magazines for the guns and 58 bricks of marijuana totaling 33 pounds, all artfully concealed in the boxes, tubs and cans of everyday household products.”
I don’t know if Barbados should thank us, or be really pissed that we denied them the party this lady was about to bring.