People Shared The Least Sexy Things They’ve Ever Seen Their Partner Do And God People Are Gross
Another day, another riveting topic to digest from the archives of “Ask Reddit.” Today’s wormhole of WTF that I fell into was created when Redditor rob5153 posed the question to the masses, “What is the least sexy thing you have seen your partner do?”
How can a question like that NOT end up with some mind-boggling responses? The answer: it can’t.
Here are some of the wackiest/grossest answers…
Waking herself up with a long slow fart. Like the noise when you squash the air out a sleeping bag before you pack it away. Then she just woke up to see the slightly sad look on my face. ~ mufasabyproxy
Shitting with the door open. We talk about our shit. Even snapchat it to each other because we are sick individuals. A split second of “are you peeing?” Interrupted by a wet shit torpedo. ~ Biscuit22
Throw up and pass out on the floor from food poisoning. She was cold and clammy to the touch. I thought she had died. Not erotic. ~ 3rd_50
Take a bath with her socks on. ~ F4ST_M4ST3R
I recently witnessed by girlfriend eat a muffin, and then proceed to eat the paper wrapping around the bottom. She said it was the best part. ~ Eoin_McLove
Take a massive shit while I’m in the shower then hop in to clean off. ~ IHaveAReallyTinyCock
Burst an ingrown abscessed hair follicle near her vagina. ~ moopymooperson
Was being silly with an ex and he was running around the house in his boxers, his dick flopped out of the boxers front slit and helicoptered around while he ran toward me. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard, he had no clue it had happened! ~ not_a_throwaway24
My ex had a bogey pile. Her headboard was about 6 or 7 inches thick and she would pick her nose and leave the drier flakes in a pile there.
Edit: Actually didn’t expect this to provoke such strong reactions! I always thought it was pretty gross, but at the time I just thought it was kinda funny more than anything. We used to joke about how disgusting she was quite a bit. ~ nitwittery
She bit her toenails like one would bite their fingernails.
I was super excited when I first saw it, she was super flexible and a gymnast which is obviously so fucking hot. I thought she was doing super hot gymnast girlfriend stuff.
So I get up from the game of Dota I was playing and find her with her foot in her mouth.
After that, whenever she was stretching the image was scarred into my brain and I had a flashback, which ruined her sexiest quality!!!
I had to break up with her. ~ Pearberr
Picked his dingle berry and then sniffed it then flicked it across the room. ~ Truffle__Butter
I was showering with an ex-gf and I was behind her just admiring her beautiful ass. She had had her period 2 days ago, so I believed I wasn’t going to see anything gross. When suddenly, a piece of uterus slides out of her vagina, and down her leg, as she’s washing her hair. ~ SFWBoots
The aftermath of a “cheese and wine” night. The puke was purple, smelled of rotten feet and was deposited on the duvet, in the space between the two of us.
Imagine being trapped by a wall on one side and a channel of satans porridge on the other, needing to strip the bed fast before it leaks onto the sheets or the floor or yourself, but your naked fiance is trying to roll himself in said duvet and therefore threatening your very sanity as you end up gagging and just rolling as much vomit in the blanket as possible and dumping it in the sink, showering and getting into bed to find he’s now lying like a fucking starfish and wants to kiss you with his cheesy vomit breath.
Sooo Sexy. ~ yohohobo
My boyfriend and I were staying at the Radisson Blu hotel for our 3 year anniversary. He surprised me and I thought it was so romantic. We of course had sex because it was our anniversary. After he finished, he went to the bathroom to go pee like he always does. He left the door open so I went to the door to scare him. Right when I looked through the door, he lets out the loudest fart. But it wasn’t only a fart. He shit everywhere. And I saw it. It ruined the moment for only about an hour and then we had sex again. ~ madi0505
I was in the shower with my SO this morning and I wipe the water out of my eyes to see her looking at me deadpan with her hand behind her back. She was pulling her hair out of her ass crack. And she wipes it on the wall and goes back to doing her thing. ~ Heysoos_Christo
I was doing 69 with an ex girlfriend and I guess she really hated me because when she was on my face she decided that was the perfect time to just rip one. ~ FatNeckBeard93
Annnd I think we’re done here.
Check out the rest of the responses and the equally hilarious comments over at Reddit.
Disgusted woman image by Shutterstock