This Man Was Born Without A Penis And Yet Has Somehow Bedded 100 Women
Andrew Wardle is a 40-year-old man from Greater Manchester who was born without a penis. Yep, I’m cutting right to the chase here. No fluffy backstory that none of you care about, no stupid Photoshop images thrown in here just to take up space and no filler sentences (except just kidding because this was all filler obviously). And yeah, I know what you’re all thinking:
“So…how does he have sex with chicks then?”
Frankly, I don’t know. It’s a mystery akin to Atlantis and Big Foot, although those are more myths than mysteries so let’s move onto Andrew because I’m clearly failing at comparisons here.
Andrew has revealed all about his life in TLC’s The Man With No Penis which sees him confess his life-long secret to friends and family – including his unsuspecting, long-term girlfriend, Fedra – and investigates life-changing surgery that could give him a fully-functioning penis built from the skin, blood vessels and nerves on his arm…
“I’ve told 20% of them the truth,” he says but then reveals how one woman punched him in the face when she learned the astonishing truth.
“It is difficult to explain to a new girlfriend but when I have some have been really nice about it. But I was punched in the face once when I told a girl,” he previously told This Morning.
“I guess she was angry as she felt like I had lied but it’s not something you can say right away.”(Via)
Lady, the guy was born without a dick, and you’re the one getting pissed off? I’m 100% on Andrew’s side here – it’s not like the first thing you say to someone you meet is going to be “Hello there, my name is Andrew and I don’t have a penis. What’s your name?” That’s just not realistic. Fuck that lady.
If Andrew’s upcoming surgery is successful, he will have a fully functional penis for the first time in his life, and if it’s not…well, I mean it’s not like his current situation can get much worse, so what’s he got to lose? Not his junk, for sure.
Unfortunately this is all the information I’ve got for you guys. I don’t know how he has sex, I don’t know how he’s gotten with 100 chicks (guess the dude’s pretty charismatic or something) and I don’t know how he pees. All those questions will probably be answered when The Man With No Penis airs on June 11th on TLC, except TLC is a channel full of shit television so I’ve got a personal ban on it. If one of you feel so inclined to watch the special and then give me a quick Twitter summary then feel free to do so, but unless that happens this will forever remain a mystery in my mind.