Mia Khalifa Just Gave Her Backing To What Is Probably The Most Disgusting Product I’ve Ever Seen
When it comes to food I don’t shy away from what most people would consider “gross.” I dip my fries into mayonnaise whenever possible and if I could do it without dying, I would eat a bacon cheeseburger from Five Guys every day. My ability to eat absolute shit and yet not reside at a jiggly 400 lbs. is a mystery I’ll never solve, probably because I’m too busy eating to figure it out and I’ve got better things to do with my time (like sleep and/or other sedentary acts that don’t require moving).
However, there is a line that I’m not willing to cross, and it sits right at the intersection of “sausage” and “doughnut.” Aka, THE DAUSAGE, aka x2 the world’s newest and fanciest way to clog your arteries and take one giant leap towards death rather than just baby steppin’ along like the rest of us.
Now, contrary to skinny people stereotypes I don’t care about how many calories are in this. I don’t count calories because I’m incapable of counting that high. What irks me is that the “dausage” is a literal sausage injected with jam, however the idea of eating sweet meat kind of makes me want to hurl. Are sweet meats a thing? I’ll admit I could be wrong but I just Googled a plethora of phrases to try to find out, but I got nuttin’. Imagine biting into a bratwurst topped with jam and I’m assume that’s what a dausage tastes like.
I don’t get it, but maybe Mia Khalifa is clued into something I’m just too stupid to see, considering she’s allll about dis’ shit.
The world’s most sought-after porn star Mia Khalifa has giver her backing to a inventive new food – the dausage.
The cross between a sausage and a doughnut is a pork cylinder filled with jam and was invented by Liam Bennett, 37.
Inspired by the Cronut (a cross between a croissant and a doughnut) and the Duffin (across between a muffin and a doughnut), the jam injected meaty treat has seen its South Wales creator inundated with global enquiries.(via)
Khalifa tweeted about the dausage, and according to its creator Liam Bennett hers was the only one that got any real traction in the twitterverse, stating “Among all the tweets about the dausage there was one being re-tweeted hundreds of times around the world. The next thing I knew this same girl who wrote the tweet had sent me a personal message basically saying that she wanted to get on board and help promote the dausage any way she could.”
— Mia Khalifa (@miakhalifa) June 12, 2015
Obviously I’m skeptical, but considering the Kickstarter Campaign for the dausage is already 1/3rd of the way to meeting its goal maybe I’m the minority. If that’s the case I’ll hold off any more judgment until I try the damn thing…and hopefully don’t puke afterwards.