This Old Man Going HAYWIRE To A Metallica Song In Traffic Is An Inspiration To Us All
I’m not sure where this dude is heading–oh that’s right, he’s en route to bone every woman in my life. Cool, enjoy that mom, Tara, Jen. I guess me, my fuel-efficient Kia Optima, and my Josh Groban Christmas CD in the month of June have no choice but to let this World War I vet stampede all over my existence. When you’ve lived through three wars and the big payoff is avocado toast and Vine stars, you probably have a little steam to blow off. Shine on, Bernie Sanders. Shine on.
When you find out the Betty White nudes leaked…
Hey, and Old Man River–one last favor. You mind mowing down those asshole bikers who stick their hand out as a directional and blow through crosswalks like the rules of the road don’t apply to them? Come on, I’ll give you a warm glass of milk and a Werther’s original. I knew you’d come around.