Our Bros of the Week Go Swimming in the East River

by 9 years ago

Pat McAfee

Pat McAfee
I know he was pretty incoherent for only blowing a .15 but I stand by this nomination. He probably doesn't drink as often as we do; that's why his tolerance is as p*ssy as the position he plays. I like his efforts, though. McAfee went for a swim in near-freezing water and he owned his inebriation when talking to the cops. Not everyone can be as awesome at drinking, and bragging about your drinking, as you are, some people have to excel at other things like getting paid in the high six figures for kicking a ball once a week.

Brian Wilson

Brian Wilson
Did he blow last night's game? I have no idea, I was busy watching FX and not caring about baseball, but what I do know is someone cared enough to write in to nominate him for Bro of the Week. And you know what? He's getting his wish because this guy's beard is so f*cking filthy that it looks like a goddamn stage prop. It's so ridiculous looking that it is easily the best playoff beard this season.

James Hunt

James Hunt
I know what James hunt. James hunt p*ssy. James hunt p*ssy real well. Sure, he slayed all those crotch cats back in the '70s but I'd venture to guess that none of us knew about it until this week so it practically makes his accomplishments seem present day. In fact, more famous men would still be enjoying this kind of lifestyle if Al Gore never invented the goddamn Internet.

Bob Guccione
The founder of the swanky men's publication Penthouse passed away this week after a battle with lung cancer. I can't say much about Bob's life — he was more private than Hef — but he made number one this week because he made millions of dollars by selling pictures of nekked women; he slept with dimes; loved video games; and he once invested in a f*cking nuclear reactor. That last one wasn't a prudent decision, but still sounds pretty sweet.


TAGSbro of the week