People Explain What They Thought Sex Was When They Were Kids, And Jeez You Guys Were Naive

by 2 years ago

When I was in my younger years, probably around the age of 24 or so, I thought to have sex a man had to put his pee-pee in a girl’s bellybutton. Which is totally ludicrous because what about those weirdos with outie belly buttons? I realize how naive I was when I was younger and know exactly what sex is; it’s when a man puts his testicles in a woman’s hiney. However, when we’re young and dumb, we’re quite clueless as to how sexual intercourse is performed.

The fine people of the subreddit Ask Reddit, pondered this query, “What did you think sex was as a child before you found out?” The answers ranged from hilarious to adorable to gross to impossible.

Redditor medwannabe:

yeah it wasn’t my brightest line of thought but i’ll share it anyway because fuck it: i knew what sex implied but i kinda believed that the stronger you penetrate the better would it be, so i came up with scenarios like getting a swing of some sort that would allow you to go closer to the ceiling in the room and then just drop on the girl that’s lying in bed waiting for you, and if you aim just right, a 1-2 meter drop should secure the best sex ever

This is EXACTLY why parents should never leave out their fuck swing and have their young child see it.

Redditor Dannyhopkins:

Kissing naked in bed

Aww that’s so very Nicholas Sparks-ish.

Redditor TheLightningLordling:

I thought Women got impregnated randomly, and they had to find a husband before they do

“Mom! The Pregnancy Fairy visited me last night because I have a baby!”

Redditor OffensiveLamp:

I read about it in an encyclopedia and one of the lines was “semen is released from the penis into the vagina”, and not knowing what semen was, I imagined it as being some sort of gas or mist.

Now did this gas come out slowly like a warm tea kettle or forcefully like an air compressor?

Redditor JustJoeB:

I knew about putting the penis in the vagina but i didn’t know about erections, so I thought the guy had to shove his flaccid penis inside the vagina entirely by hand, like putting stuffing inside a turkey.

That’s like trying to put the toothpaste back in the toothpaste tube.


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