Pokemon Themed Sex Toys Are Now Available To Help Your Girlfriend Pokemoan While You Catch Them All

Ash Ketchum’s real test may have been to catch them, but to fist them was his real cause. Now, thanks to a company called Geeky Sex Toys based in Brisbane, Australia, you too can know what it feels like to have Pikachu’s nubile young Pikafist jammed up your rectum, as they’ve created a line of Pokemon sex toys perfect for that one socially awkward Pokemon-obsessed weirdo we all have in our lives:

According to Emma , one of the two creators behind the toys, told Mashable that “Our aim was to reimagine the boring toys in a fun and nerdy way by simply creating the things we were looking for. We believe a sex toy shouldn’t just be a tool to get you off, it should be fun, entertaining and visually pleasing (as well as physically pleasing).”

I dunno Emma, something tells me that I’m not going to give a shit what the dildo looks like while it’s being porked up my vagina considering I can’t physically see it at that point, but whatever – you’re the expert. I’m just the pervert with a penchant for cartoon monsters that shoot lightning out of their asses.

Your current options for the Pokemon sex toys are as aptly named as they are designed: Bulby, Charmy, Squirty or Piky. Giving them names is making me all the more uncomfortable as I picture “Bulby” battling head-to-head with a chocolate starfish:

Initially, Geeky Sex Toys only created 100 of the “Pokemoan” products, however a recent “surge of interest” has prompted them to manufacture more.

God help us all.

Speaking of help, here’s some tips to help you dominate Pokemon Go so that you don’t wind up with a Pokemon dildo in your butt (not that playing the game poorly means you’re going to stick something up your ass, but I don’t know what kind of weird bets you make with your friends…better safe than sorry):

[Via Mashable]