The Porn Preferences Of Our Most Republican States Have Been Be Released, And Boy Are They Hypocritically Kinky

by 3 years ago


Just this week, the Republican Party announced their intention to declare pornography a “public menace” that’s harmful to society.

It’s a naturally Puritanical response to something you’re uncomfortable with loving: call it sinful, so if you ever get caught with it, you can say your fallible ass is struggling with it, but working with the Lord to do right.

It’s basically how you absolve yourself of any guilt.

(On the other hand, you could just enjoy booze, porn, and drugs without the self-flagellation).

But when you heard that Republicans declared it sinful, you just knew it was because they were watching the kinkiest kinkiest kinkiet kinkiest shit.

Hoooo baby yes they were.

Pornography distribution company xHamster looked at the search terms of America’s reddest states, that swath from North Dakota, down through the plains, and into the South, and man. They like to jerk it to the kind of shit you couldn’t even tell your pastor about in confession.

Maybe that’s why they want to make it go away.

Tops on the list is cuckold porn, which is a genre that focuses on an interloper fucking your wife. That’s from the family values party.

Other top choices run counter to all the other things Republicans profess to hate: lesbian couples, women having choice, and transgenders.

See for yourself. (If you can’t read that, you can see a bigger image here.)


Hypocrisy much?

[Via xHamster]

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