Bad News: Rowan University’s Masterpiece of a Snow Penis WASN’T Erected By Three Girls


Ever since we posted about Rowan University’s glorious snow peen, we’ve been receiving two types of emails: those trying to one-up the epic snow phallus and those claiming these three lassies had nothing to do with the blood, sweat, and tears put into the construction of said snow peener.

Here’s how this all went down:

On Thursday or Friday, a girl (who is apparently in the photo, but I’ll leave unnamed) tweeted at us that Rowan had the snow dick to end all snow dicks. I remember the tweet because I clicked on the link only to realize her tweets were private and protected. That’s as far as I went — our site was down and since I couldn’t post it, I didn’t follow up. Then, on Saturday morning, the same girl messaged us on Facebook. This was her exact message:

Since my Twitter Account is private for work – i had tweeted our Snow Penis to you but not sure if you can view if im private?

Anyways – its def worth seeing.

Do you see those steps? Its a God Damn Monument.

#RowanUniversity #Jersey

So many I-don’t-give-a-shit grammatical errors in that message…

Anyway, her saying, “I had tweeted OUR Snow Penis…” coupled with the fact that she made two separate efforts to send us the damn thing led me to believe this was their work. I sent this to our Saturday editor. He posted it, people picked it up, and traffic was good. Hooray and shit.

However, after receiving countless emails, I quickly realized this Snowner (snow boner) was not the work of the three women posing with it. And I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night without giving proper credit to the rightful architects of Rowan’s throbbing snow dick.

This was the first email I received.

Subject: Snow penis sculpture

The girls in from the snow penis sculpture did not build that.  It is from 2011 and was built from guys who lived in beau rivage, it took them many hours possibly days.  Be serious do you really think three dumb girls could build that?

I did think and believe it. Shame on me.

Then came this email.

Subject: Rowan University Snow Penis Fraud

Yea so that picture your editor Rachel put up was erected in the winter of 2010 by the great boys of Beau 38 & 32. I could not live my life knowing that some random girls that we allowed to take a picture were getting credit for the production and artistic sculpturing of my friends and I . Thank you . I would appreciate a correction in your story .

Yeah, so, I don’t know who the fuck Rachel is… and I could not live my life knowing some random girl is getting credit for posting this to our site. She did not.

After a few more which basically all said the same thing, I received this one, which had more photos.

Subject: i have some news for you about the snow penis from rowan….

so those girls who e-mailed you about the snow penis aren’t actually the ones who built it. that snow penis is actually built by a few boys that i hung out with that graduated in 2011. i attached some pics with the year and date.. god, those girls really thought they could take credit for something so magnificent? THE NERVE.

rowan-snow-penis-2 rowan-snow-penis-1

He immediately sent a follow-up email.

Subject: also

their names are dan, pat , kelly , jeff , and gabe.. give them some credit for me!

Here’s your credit Dan, Pat, Kelly, Jeff, Gabe and any other “great boys” of Beau 38 & 32 who had a hand in making this snow dick. Soak it in. I mean, really absorb it; it’s not every day that you get this kind of notoriety.

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