You Will Never Screw Up As Bad As This Guy On Tinder Who Was Less Than 5 Seconds Away From A Threesome
Tinder is the best way to meet random people who are attractive, since meeting attractive people in real life is hard. You can’t just waltz up to someone on the street who catches your eye and lead with “Sit on my face?” That’ll get you smacked, whereas on Tinder you’ll either get ignored or…well, someone will sit on your face. You can’t lose!
Unless, of course, you’re Reddit user TIFUTinder, who managed to not only bag one, but TWO girls off of Tinder…and yet still fucked it up all the same.
Firstly I have never been in a relationship so a mate told me to start using tinder. I’m not a model, I’m just an average college guy looking for some girls to hang with so when I got matched with a few really pretty girls I was very happy.
So this all started around 2 months ago I started talking to a girl let’s call her Ella, she was very pretty and we had a lot in common we went out 6 times we had fun and nothing was official. A month a go I got matched with another very pretty girl but at this point I was really starting to like ella but this girl let’s call her Emily sent me two messages so being the nice guy I was I sent her a message back after a couple weeks of talking to Emily she wanted to get some drinks I thought what the hell I don’t think Ella is really that into me anyway.
Little did I know that I received a text from ella in the middle of the date I had with Emily asking if I was interested in becoming a little more serious (I was and she was one of the nicest and most interesting girls I had ever talked to).
So at this point I had two girls that where in to me, being a 20 year old nerdy virgin that sits on reddit all day I was stoked. After a few drinks Emily asked if I wanted to go back to her place, shit I panicked I wasn’t expecting this I had no Condoms and was freaking the fuck out I said let’s get one more round during this I rushed to the bathroom hoping they had those baby prevention machines that spit out condoms for a buck. Yes, they did I bought 5 I was that excited and who knows I might break one or something.
So I finish my drink and we start walking back to her place, a little bit tipsy I start talking dirty but luckily she’s totally into it. We start walking up the stairs to her place and before she opens the door she says “shhh giggles my room mates a huge nerd and is probably in bed”. So we get inside I try to take my shoes off and just my fucking luck my fat ass hits the small fish bowl next to the front door… Who the fuck puts a glass fish bowl next to the front door. Smash! Water every where she starts freaking out and I try to pick up the glass. But we both just start laughing.
Then I hear my Name “Mick, what are you doing here” totally confused half drunk and thinking that Emily was just playing with me I rambled “to fuck you obviously” I look up and turns out Emily and Ella are room mates and poor old Mick is still a virgin.
TL;DR: Virgin, started using tinder. Had two girls that turned out to be room mates. Still a Virgin.
Dude, that was the IDEAL SITUATION. Two roommates who know you, like you, any half-competent man could’ve turned that into a threesome in two seconds flat. It’s okay though, there’s loads of prostitutes on Tinder who’ll be just as happy to take your V-card as anyone else…for a price, of course.