Scum Of The Earth Caught Stealing Christmas Packages Off People’s Steps Gets OWNED By Shirtless Neighbor

Is it possible to be more mentally dominated than this dirtbag was? I guess when your opponent is barefoot in the snow with his shirt off prematurely demanding a fellow neighbor retrieve a firearm, you really have no choice but to comply. That dude is certainly not going to let you off with a warning.

If you were to ask me to draw a protypical scumbag, I would attempt to sketch a mirror image of this package thief–his outfit has zero flow. A sweatshirt with plaid shorts, a camouflage bandana and some facial hair that probably has enough food in it to feed a small African village. If I found out my girlfriend fucked this guy in a past life, I’d have to kill myself. That is the definition of ‘irreconcilable differences.’ And I’m nothing to write home about, but everything about this dude says ‘I gave up years ago.’ For me, it’s only been months.

[h/t TFM]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.