Couple Caught Banging On The Beach Must Now Register As Sex Offenders, Prosecution Seeking 15-Year Prison Sentence

Sex on Beach Couple


Back in July a couple was seen having sex on Bradenton Beach, Florida. The prosecution is seeking to make an example of these two, stating that it is a town built on tourism (which is a lie, Bradenton’s a complete trash pit), and that both tourists and children witnessed Jose Caballero, 40, and Elissa Alvarez, 20, having sex on the beach. Video evidence was presented, and it took the jury only 15-minutes to find the two guilty of lewd and lascivious behavior.

What next? Well now that the two have been convicted they’ll have to register as sex offenders, with their names alongside convicted rapists and pedophiles. Presumably they’ll have to inform their neighbors that they are sex offenders, even though their crime was only having sex on a beach like people have been doing for centuries.

On top of that the dude, Jose Caballero, will likely be spending 15-years in prison. I know what you’re thinking: how in the hell would any rational judge sentence a man to 15-years in prison just for having sex on a beach?!?!? Like I said before, they’re trying to make an example of this couple. Caballero previously spent 8-years in prison for cocaine trafficking, so they’ll be throwing the book at him, trying to send a message to tourists everywhere: “don’t have sex on our beaches.” The woman is expected to receive a lesser sentence because she has no prior convictions, but is still facing jail time.

You can see stills of their act here, and decide for yourself if that act should carry a sentence of 15-years in prison:

What’s really killing me is that this all took place in Bradenton Beach, like 5-miles from a nudist island where people get naked and bump uglies on the reg. Sure it would have been a mood killer to spend the 20-minutes getting to the nudist island, but they wouldn’t be facing prison had they gone to Passage Key.

Secondly: fuck everything about this prosecution team. Trying to make an example of this couple because a 3-year old saw a body moving around in a sexual manor?!

Early on the couple was reportedly offered a plea deal: Caballero would spend 2.5 years in prison, but not be forced to register as a sex offender, Alvarez would plea out getting probation, a misdemeanor, and have to give a statement about what happened. Presumably they passed on the plea because it meant 2.5-years in prison for this guy, all for having sex on a beach. Now they’re facing maximum sentences because the state has a hard-on for these two.

Some news outlets are claiming that Caballero is facing, and will likely be serving the maximum 15-years in prison, while others state that Assistant State Attorney Anthony Dafonseca will be pushing for a sentence greater than the 2.5 (and later 3) year plea deal that Caballero was offered, so somewhere in the 5-year range presumably, but not necessarily 15-years. As there are conflicting reports I’m not sure where he’ll end up, but I know this: all of this is absolute insanity. You don’t put a person in prison for 15-years just for having sex on the beach, AND name them as a sex offender.

Sentences like that are for manslaughter, sexual assault (2nd Degree), burglary, etc….Actually, those crimes only carry sentences of 10 years, not 15.

I suggest we all take a stand: we head out to the beach and throw the world’s craziest sex party, so loud and raucous the people of Bradenton Beach will never be the same. We actually brought you video of the two having sex back in July, unfortunately YouTube deemed that video too salacious for their servers and it’s since disappeared…

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