The Pros And Cons Of A Guy Paying On A First Date, According To A Girl

by 2 years ago

To pay or not to pay? That is the question!

This topic is tough for me to take a side on, thus I have decided to make a Pro/Con list of all the thoughts that come into the “basic” girls mind when guys pay, or don’t not pay, on your first dates. It’s a battle that has baffled me for many years, and I assume years to come, as I rifle back and forth over which position I should take on this matter. Due to my parents, and the culture growing up in Laguna Beach, I always used to believe men paid for dates and many other things. It’s just the way I was taught. However, in my adult years I have gained quite the obscure perspective on being a bread winner in some of my relationships, as well as a feminist and someone who does not mind footing the bill once in a while.

I have gotten into many debates and conversations surrounding gender roles and chivalry and yet I am still dumbfounded. I would, as always love to hear your thoughts below and be privy to what goes through your minds so that mine can expand as well. This list is in application STRICTLY to 1st dates.


  • Chivalry – Is not dead, I adore when a man treats me like the princess I am and takes me out on the town. Opening doors, being respectful, paying for dinner, compliments, the whole nine, I love it. It’s very much something I believe I was socialized to demand from men and therefore believe that if my date slips in this area, then he’s not actually interested in me as a person.
  • It’s a statement – It sets the tone for what is to come, the message is being sent “I want to get to know you and I want to treat you with respect, this is not just a hook up.”
  • Sex – I recently discovered that men pay for drinks and dinner in hopes to have sex. I know you think I am now either crazy or stupid but… you would be wrong. I just didn’t realize that was the fine print behind dinner until recently, oops. Well, it’s been working for centuries and many men are getting laid after they take their ladies out so why break the pattern now?
  • Tradition – It’s just the way its always been, there is something sexy and strong about tradition. It sets gender roles and history in their place and it is what our society is accustom too.


  • Sexist– It is 2016 so why the fuck does the man need to pay for my dinner? Its a modern world and the only way we will ever progress is to break away from these silly gender roles
  • Financial– Its a burden, why should you have to cover the cost of all your first dates when you are constantly on dating apps and taking out new and different women? It’s too expensive to both live in a modern world and have to pay every time you take someone out.
  • Pressure– Now you have put pressure on the woman to return the favor in a different way with the implication of the payment for dinner. Do you really want to be that guy?
  • Potentially not feministI told you in my last article I need all my bros to be feminists too. I’m not sure where this act falls in the culture of feminism but I can almost guess its not very high on the totem pole.
  • Sex– If you don’t pay for dinner, does she really have to fuck you? HAHA (just joking, but not really)
  • Tradition can be stupid- We need to constantly question every social norm and tradition that we practice. To live in a world without critical analysis is an ignorant world to live. But when you don’t pay, judgement will happen.

Still after all of this analysis Ive got… NOTHING.


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