There’s Now A Boob-Squeezing Simulator Video Game Available For The 40-Year-Old Virgins Of The World
Are you a sad and lonely man who’s never touched a boob before? It’s okay if you are, I’m sure you’re not the only one out there. But if you’re feeling like you’re missing out on something really great, you can just go ahead and buy this new virtual reality video game called “Boobie Squeezing Simulator.”
Is it creepy? Is it kinda gross? Does it actually look really boring to play? Hell yes to all those questions, and if any self-respecting woman ever walked into an apartment with one of these prominently displayed next to a television I’d like to think she’d walk the fuck back out, but who knows. Alas, we all know that none of those realistic tidbits of information will keep anyone from buying one of these, so I might as well throw some specifics at you.
This past weekend, RocketNews24 reported that the company revealed its newest virtual reality innovation at Japan’s Oculus Rift Festival, taking their human touch technology to the next level — with a fully immersive breast-squeezing simulator.
By creating a pair of model breasts using foam stripped from novelty mouse pads, Up Frontier’s new simulator allows gamers immersed in the virtual reality of the Oculus Rift to reach out to the still model and grab its two foam mounds.
With their real-life vision obscured by virtual images, users will see their hands approaching a well-endowed anime woman’s chest, experience the sensation of groping it and subsequently watch her squeal, cover up and stare towards the ground in embarrassment.
Yeah…this game might just be a way for the NSA to determine who all the perverts in this country are. Not that there’s anything wrong with grabbing boobs, but doing it to a squealing anime girl? There’s no possible way to phrase that so it’s not creepy. The moment you think to yourself “Maybe I should buy a boob-grabbing simulator” you’ll know your life isn’t worth living anymore.