Story Of A Dude Hooking Up With This Chick While Her Family Was Home Is A Hilarious Disaster Full Of NOPE

by 3 years ago

Everyone’s made some mistakes hooking up, whether it was a disastrous session in the back seat of your car or you found yourself hiding underneath her stepdad’s car in the garage, pancaked on the ground trying not to breathe because she didn’t turn off the house alarm and that dude was looking for you and you were convinced that he was going to end your life (that totally never happened to me). What I’m saying is the booty makes people do some crazy things, and the story below is a doctorate level dissertation in insanity.

I definitely feel badly for this bro, he was just trying to help that girl study and get ahead in life while all she wanted to do was go down in a blaze of glory. This is a bit of a long one but unlike many TIFU stories this one’s definitely worth reading in full.

TIFU by getting a sneaky BJ from my girlfriend (NSFW)

This was the most embarrassing moment of my damn life. Happened a few years ago, not today for those who really care.
So I go to my girlfriends house to help her with some shit for school. I bring my laptop over and we get to working on whatever it was. We were sitting in her kitchen with the rest of her family: her mom, dad, brother and her Grandmammy. Her Grandmammy is the fucking sweetest lady you ever met. Good Christian chick who wears a rosary around her neck and always saying things like “God be good” at random times that don’t call for God’s blessing. She just that thankful to the big guy.
So it’s getting late and everyone goes to bed. Parents and bro sleep upstairs, the Grandmammy sleep downstairs in a room that is right off from the kitchen. This is important to know! Anyways, me and my GF working on this shit and I get in the fucking zone. She bored as hell and don’t want to do the work, so being the devil she is, she trying to distract me. She slides her hand up my shorts and starts playing with my manhood. Not one to deny a girl playing with my dick, I let her do her thing, but honest I was so into doing this work that I kept doing my own thing. Seeing as I wasn’t going to budge from being a diligent student and doing this work (which was her own shit that I was doing nicely for her) she proceeds to unzip my fly. We all know what happens next. She down there sucking me good and I’m only human and get out of that zone to enjoy this. Thoroughly.
Grandmammy must have been sitting in her room sensing a disturbance in the holy air. God must have warned her that some sinning was going on right outside her room and she wasn’t about to have that. I don’t really know, but what I do know is that I’m sitting in that chair enjoying the beautiful sensations of my girlfriends throat wrapped around my dick. That is until I look up and I realize I’m in a fucking stare down with Grandmammy. She starts yelling at the top of her damn voice
At least I assume that’s what she said. I was so freaked out that in an attempt to run away and hide from the situation, I attempt to stand up. The thing is, this all happened so quickly that my girlfriend didn’t have time to get off my dick. She still down there when I get up and that means I’m stuffing my dick further down her throat. Poor thing, that triggered her gag reflex and she gags and gets up and runs to the sink to throw up. So she over there throwing up and I’m standing up with my dick hanging out of my shorts with all hell being unleashed on me from Grandmammy. “PUTCHO DICK AWAY” is something that I know for sure that she said to me right there. So I hastily return my dick back in my shorts as GF’s Dad come in the room to see what is going on. My first concern is to check on my girlfriend who puking but Lord knows I aint never touch her again with the eyes of Sauron on me.
Grandmammy start yelling at GF dad telling him what she seen and how disgusted she is. Thankfully, Dad was more concerned about his daughter than beating my ass, so he checked on her. I go to see how she’s doing and Grandmammy yelling at me to get away from her. Girlfriend looks at me to let me know she’s ok and I give her a little head nod meaning that “I gotta get the fuck out of here” and she gets it. I pack up my laptop, head for the door and get a clean smack on the back of my head from Grandmammy (deserved ma’am) and I head on home.
My girlfriend and I broke up after that, but only to appease her family and avoid awkwardness. We still hung out quite a bit after that, but never at her house. Kinda sucked (ha!) it came to that, but we still good to this day. Grandmammy, however, passed away last night. As much as she hated me, she was a good woman. I’ll miss that lady. RIP.
TL;DR Got head from girlfriend, got caught by her grandmammy, all hell let loose.

I ready some pretty F*CKED up stuff here on BroBible but few are as messed up as that one, I feel pretty badly for that bro. He was just trying to study and that devil woman got him involved in the most embarrassing moment of his life.

He was in that house trying to do good things, to ensure that his GF furthered her education and didn’t fall behind the progress of her peers, instead he ended up making some chick vomit in front of her grandma after taking that dome to the next level. Everything about this was a disaster and I feel pretty bad for everyone involved, especially grandma. That’s the last thing in the world she needed to see at her age.

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