Your 2016 Is Probably Off To A Better Start Than This Guy Who Got Stuck On A Floating Piece Of Ice
This man’s situation begs more questions than answers: Why didn’t he jump? What kind of previously questionable decisions led him out on that ice? How well does he swim in a coat? Did he eat Arbys for lunch? He looks like the type of man who threw down a couple beef and cheddar specials before wandering out on that ice.
Dude is probably a walking fart machine.