Teachers Anonymously Shared The Most WTF Things They’ve Seen Students Do And What The Hell Is ‘Birdgang’?

by 3 years ago

I have to say that the absolute best statuses I see on Facebook these days are from my friends who are school teachers and share the most asinine things their students say to them. I’m not trying to dox anyone here, but some of the shit I see these teacher friends of mine share on FB has me legitimately worried about the state of Washington D.C.’s school system.

All of this is of course an awkward segue into me telling you bros how I came across an AskReddit thread in which a bunch of teachers shared the MOST WTF THINGS they’d ever seen a student do. So if you’re asking yourself right now ‘what the hell is a ‘birdgang’ and why the crap did Cass mention it in the headline?’ then keep on reading, because that’s actually the first response below (and it sounds like the plot of an Always Sunny episode)!


I teach high school. Lots of weird stuff happens.

— Four boys in one of my periods have formed “BirdGang.” BirdGang consists of shouting “BIRDGANG” at random intervals, making bird noises, drawing birds on everything, and changing their last names to BirdGang (i.e. John BirdGang). They also have secret BirdGang handshakes that involve arm flapping. I hate BirdGang.
— A kid threw a rage fit because he closed the door too fast and it hit him in the face.
— Last year I had this student who was completely bananas. He got really good at shooting baby carrots out of his mouth. Once he nailed another kid right in the eye with a baby carrot. I would find baby carrots all over the room after he left. One time I gave him a pen, and not thirty seconds later he had ink smeared all over his face.
— Earlier this year, a student very gravely handed me a piece of paper at the end of class. On it was drawn a man ripping a spinal cord out of another man and the words “FINISH HIM” were written underneath. Like Mortal Combat. No explanation was given.
— We got through a whole 90 minute period well, so I gave them the last 5 minutes as free time. One boy walked over to another and punched him in the face.
— Yesterday I had to write a referral for a kid because had climbed up on the back of a chair and was humping another student’s shoulder.
— Someone took my marker basket and switched all the caps to all the pens (so the colors were mismatched).
— Penises are drawn on everything. Everywhere. All the time. All over school. Penises. I don’t know who does it. Stealth penises.

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