The Bro Boy Overcomes Writer’s Block

by 8 years ago

It has been a while. It has been a long while — but I think I’m back on track, Bros. Life has been hectic over the last month or so and I have found little inspiration amidst the series of drunken escapades that have come to define my life since I wrote my last article. The truth is that I haven’t actually been all that Bro at all after going on a bit of a literary hot streak just before the Fourth of July (with the exception of the Fourth of July — shout out to the Doobie Brothers for putting on a good show and helping forget me about the pressures of getting a job that weekend).  

One could say that for the last month, Pillsbury had “lost” his Bro-ness. Well, Bros, I like to think that it has returned. The sabbatical is over. Pillsbury has hit the Big Apple for good now (which means I might actually start making some cameo appearances in the BroBible office from time to time). So what if I’m sharing an apartment on the Upper East Side with my mom? So what if I’m considering taking an unpaid internship? I’ve got no rent to pay, and my mom doesn’t care if I come home every night at 5 a.m.  

While I wallowed in self-pity for a while over the previous four weeks, I had a realization the other night. I’m 22. I’m in the prime of my life. And I’ve got two dozen bars within five blocks of my apartment. Life is good.
Summer is almost over and I’ll be damned if we Bros won’t, in the words of 50 Cent, “get it in” for the next few weeks. I’ll be barhopping from dusk til dawn until employment come a-knockin’ on my door — as long as that shit doesn’t come knockin’ before noon. But in all seriousness, if you see a cab doing about 90 m.p.h. up 1st Avenue with cigarette smoke flowing out of the back window at 4 a.m., you’ll know it’s me arguing with my cab driver over standard fares.  

August 31. Santos Party House. Lafayette Street. Kinetics & One Love, 5 & a Dime, and others
. Pregame at my place beforehand. I hope all you heads like chaying, because Pillsbury is what one might call an Original Gangster (never thought I’d be referencing Ice-T when I started this article — doesn’t that guy act in “Law & Order” now?).
Hope to see you Bros there. In the meantime, take advantage of those last few days of summer before you move back into some run down co-ed dorm room. If college is in the rearview… well… then let’s chay. Better be seeing heads in Midtown tomorrow night.

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