Girl Writes List Of 50 Things She Thinks About While Giving Head, Because Of Course We Need To Know

by 5 years ago

What do you think girls think about when they go down on you? Here are a few must-have thoughts I assume they’re experiencing:

“MY GOD, what an honor this is.”

“His grooming is meticulous.”

“The way he switches back and forth from rubbing my head to jostling my breasts really let’s me know he’s jazzed about this.”

“I’m really enjoying being down here. I sure hope he doesn’t cum for another 10 to 45 minutes.”

“Have I mentioned how honored I am?”

“Of course you have, idiot, this is your internal dialogue.”

“Oh, right. Silly me.”

“This is so good, he needn’t even reciprocate.”

Turns out, that’s apparently not what chicks think about at all. According to a writer at Elite Daily, they’re thinking about putting a finger in our butt and how they won’t have to floss later because our shoddy pube grooming has that all taken care of.

Per her post at Elite Daily:

Here are the 50 things that definitely go through my head while going down on a man:

1. Alright, I got this!

2. You’re about to rock his world.

3. Breathe through your nose, idiot.

4. I hope my throat won’t hurt tomorrow.

5. Should I try butt stuff? Maybe he’ll like it. No, Kristin! Don’t do it.

6. I will never understand this hand thing.

7. Is it supposed to be a lollipop or Popsicle stick?

8. If you touch my head one more time, I’m going to f*cking kill you.

9. Should I make eye contact?

10. Pretty sure it’s like a Popsicle.

11. Ugh, just cum already.

12. I have so much hair. I wish I had a hair tie.

13. Just maybe try butt stuff?

14. Make some noise, Kristin.

15. Well, that was weird.

16. Jesus, Kristin, be careful of teeth.

17. Do you think he felt that?

18. Just because you can deep throat doesn’t mean that —

19. *Gags*

20. Ew, our parents totally used give blowjobs.

21. Maybe they still do?

22. Ew, get that out of your mind.

23 Ah, so much hair.

24. Okay, here it goes. I’m going to try some butt —


I’m not buying any of this. I bet all girls think about is “God I can’t wait till this is over, because for some reason his crotch smells like onions covered in stale coffee.”

Anyway, you can go check out the rest of her list at Elite Daily. Oh, and obviously we wrote the guy version of this. Obviously.

[H/T Elite Daily]

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