Three Girls and a Sex Tape, Plus Bro Hooks Up With the Worst Kind of Squirter
This summer, I was in Arizona for an internship and lived within walking distance of ASU (aka Candyland). This story is from my last night in town before heading back home. I had a long weekend and some cash to blow, so I planned on going to Vegas with my roommates. But after those plans fell through, I decided to make the most of my last weekend and fully indulge in the “Temptations of Tempe.”
So I called up some chick Jenny I hooked up with at a bar a couple weeks ago. She had called me for a booty call a few times but I was too passed out every time. Needless to say, this was just about a sure thing. We go out for a drink and head back to my place for “dessert.” Little do I know she has quite a penchant for chocolate, but we'll get to that later. As we're getting down to business, Jenny tells me she's on her period so we can't do much. Of course, I immediately translate that as to “Ok, looks like I'm getting dome all night!” And sure enough, she proceeds to blow me like a vuvuzela. After asking her to lick my balls, she goes even lower and starts tossing my salad. I guess I didn't taste half bad, since she was just stuffing her face all up in my ass. Eventually I blow a load on her but realize that my member is up for round 2. She goes to the bathroom to clean up and I think to myself, “Wow, this bitch is a total freak. I might never meet another one like this.” So I decided to tape that shit!
After almost an hour of this, I finish on her face. Since it’s not even 11 yet, she wants to go out downtown with me, but I'm just thinking the night is too young to settle on just one chick. So I feed her some BS about how I'm tired and just drop off her home.
But of course, I head straight to my favorite bar and within a few minutes, see some cute Latina girl giving me the look from across the bar. So I pound my beer and approach her. Soon enough we’re making out right there in the middle of the dance floor, and she stops me to ask, “Are you some sorta player?” Being somewhat struck aback by this, I'm thinking to myself, “well I was just getting head about an hour ago”, but of course I just respond no and she continues sucking my face. Unfortunately, she couldn't come home with me due to persistent cockblocking from her girlfriends.
So I said fuck it and moved on. I went out to the smoking area of the bar and spotted some smoking hot blonde putting out her cigarette by stepping on it with her foot. Let’s call her Mary. I then gave her one of the cheesiest lines of all time, “You're a stepper, huh?” After talking to her for 30 seconds I quickly realized she was easier than shooting fish in a barrel. She introduces me to her drunk, sloppy friend who won’t let her go to another bar across the street. So Mary decides to be the classy lady she is and throws her friend in a cab, slams the door, grabs my hand, and leads me to the other bar. There, she BUYS ME a couple drinks and we dance a bit more. Already knowing where this night is heading, I tell her we’re taking this party back to my place and she agrees. When we get back to my pad, she’s all over me and we start getting down to business pretty soon. After fingering and going down on her for a bit, Mary’s begging for me to pound her. But being fairly hammered at this point, the whiskey dick is kicking in, and I don’t really much fuel in the tank left after already blowing a couple of loads just a few hours ago, I realize I’m not quite up to another round. Then, Mary takes a cab home at 4 in the morning. So a bit of a disappointing end to an otherwise epic night.
P.S.: There’s nothing quite as gratifying than waking up from a hangover and watching yourself finish on a girl’s face.
I mean, who the fuck am I to argue with that?
Shoot, I never thought I'd be the one writing one of these stories right now. Usually my hookups are pretty standard. Ha, but I guess I should give a little background.
One of my good friends, a former roommate of mines, had brought his sister over to our place when we lived together to party with us. I had heard she was hot before but I'd never met her in person. But that night we partied together she clearly, very clearly was making passes at me saying things like, “Oh yeah, I love black guys ” (I'm black) and “Look at what I got for having nice boobs,” showing off this shirt she had won in one of the bars near our campus. So, this chick is pretty solid. She's cheerleader at another university, petite, slender, athletic body, but huge rack for a girl her size.
But anyway, I can tell that this chick is one of those chicks who are used to getting what they want from guys so I play it cool like IDGAF, and went to bed.
Fast forward, I'm living in a new apartment in a new city closer to their home and a bunch of us decide to go out and drink. I get shit faced, as does she, we end up just making out, touching grabbing, etc, all that stuff before I decide to take it back to my place, which she politely declines because she has to look out for her brother, my boy (who happens to be a 6'5 giant btw). So I say fuck it and go home alone again.
Fast forward to last night. This is where the story gets interesting. So we're having a party for one of my friends whose moving and we have the whole crew over, including my friend's hot cheerleader sis. I had started pre-gaming pretty early so by the time they reached, the alcohol was just starting to take effect.
Cheerleader sis walks in and hits me with the “come hither eyes.” I play it off, Mr. Cool as usual until she pulls me to the side, away from everyone else. She grabs a few of her overnight bags and puts them in my room “just to keep them safe.” Starting to look like someone is gonna end up sleeping in my room. Anyway, so the door closes behind her and she's talking about how she's been doing insanity or some ish, trying to get a nice but, but opens her shirt to show off her tits, saying they are her best feature. My hands both cup her D's before I ask if I can feel em, of course she doesn't object. Aware that her bro is in the next room we decide to wait until a bit later.
Everyone heads to the bar, and I'm with this chick as she's grinding hard on me, and starts to make out with me. She's been buying me drinks all night and I'm fucking gone at this point before she grabs me and whispers “What are we still doing here?” We make a b-line back to my apartment. When we get back, things go from pretty classy to down and dirty in no time, she's all over me, my hands are in her pants and I'm going ham. I get her down to her underwear while she's giving me a handy. I get up to grab some water and when I come back, this chick is passed the fuck out in my bed. So I'm super pissed and balls sure as hell had to be blue. So I say fuck it, call it a night.
About 6 the next morning I wake up to this chick snuggling with me, but I notice it feels like I'm laying in a puddle. I feel myself to see how my draws were, then felt the chick and sure enough, this chick PISSED ALL OVER MY FUCKING BED!
So I wake her up and move her over to another part of the bed out of the piss before putting down some towels. Later on when we get up, we snuggle and talk for a little bit before she tells me her bro is coming over and prob doesn't want to see her in bed with one of his best friends so I say cool. She leaves and I get up to clean my already soaked sheets. As I pull the blanket off, I come to realized… She Pissed herself, again! So now I have two giant piss stains on my mattress that I now don't know what to do with…
Submit your Hook up Heroes stories here.
[image via ShutterStock]