Remember In ‘Snakes On A Plane’ Where A Toilet Snake Bit A Guy’s Dick Off? That Almost Happened In California


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Just in case you somehow did yourself the misfortune of skipping out on seeing Snakes on a Plane and therefore missed the toilet snake part, here you go! Watch it, or else we can’t be friends anymore.

To this day I’m still puzzled as to why that movie didn’t sweep the Oscars that year, but to each their own I suppose. Some people like cheesy movies about snakes wrecking shit on a plane, other people like movies about gay cowboys. I’m not here to judge. But the fact that most Oscar nominees are for movies that are based on true stories seems kind of limiting, doesn’t it? That basically means that the next movie about a magical little wizard boy with no friends and no legs and has a dildo for a wand then goes off into magic butthole land will only be able to brag that it made lots of loser children feel good about themselves and not that it won an Oscar. That’s the kind of world we live in, folks.

But fear not! Because maybe, sometime in the near future, Snakes on a Plane will win a late Oscar (I don’t know why not) because it’ll be recognized as having parts of its plot be based on a true story. What true story, you ask? Why this news story about 5 and ½ foot Colombian rainbow boa slithering out of a PR firm’s office toilet in San Diego!

But Holly Wells and Stephanie Lasca, co-founders of Vertical PR + Marketing, were not prepared for what slithered out of their office toilet Tuesday: a 5 1/2-foot Colombian rainbow boa.

“I thought my eyes were deceiving me,” Lasca said. When she saw the flicker of the snake’s tongue, she knew it was a snake.

She screamed and ran from the bathroom, slamming the door and calling the county Department of Animal Services.

Via LA Times


Animal Services found the boa hiding behind the toilet when they arrived, which is a pretty stupid place for a 5-foot boa to hide because like DUH you don’t fit there you stupid snake. You’re basically asking to get caught if you choose to hide there, way to lose at hide-and-seek within the first 5 seconds.

After losing its game of hide-and-seek miserably, the snake was taken to an animal care center for examination, where they promptly said “Yep, that’s definitely a snake. No doubt about that one, see how it doesn’t have legs? Eww!”

[H/T Gawker, H/T and images via LA Times]