Wife Suggests Taking One Year Off From Marriage To Bang Strangers, Man Agrees, And It Ends As You’d Expect
Variety is the spice of life. There’s a reason why buffet’s exist.
There’s also a reason why marriage exists.
And that’s so your partner of 18 years doesn’t stroll into the bathroom while you’re taking your pre-work dump to request a hiatus from your lifeless penis in favor of some stranger schlong.
I’ll have to confirm, but I’m pretty sure the reason you get married is to slowly convince yourself that sex with one person for 60 years is all you deserve anyway. That’s why whenever I tell my dad that his zipper is down, he shrugs and sheepishly replies, “dead men don’t fall out windows, son,” and leaves it unzipped.
So maybe this sad state of affairs is exactly what Robin Rinaldi was trying to avoid.
Rinaldi, a freelance journalist from San Francisco, presented her husband with the proposal of taking a 12-month hiatus from their failing marriage to fuck strangers. The proposal came in the wake of her husband getting a vasectomy after she’d expressed her desire for children. Kind of a dick move, bro.
All things considered, this request doesn’t seem too outlandish for a dormant marriage and I’m sure upon hearing the news, the husband had already thought up a 1-10 power ranking of chicks at his work. Which must be why he agreed.
The rules of the agreement were as follows:
- Robin would rent a studio apartment, where she would stay on weekdays
- Weekend spent together at home
- No friends
- Don’t ask, don’t tell
- Wear a condom
- Do not let it progress past one night
Loophole: the stipulations of the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ never said that Robin couldn’t write a memoir about her sexcapades and sell it to mouth-breathers like you and I.
So that’s exactly what she did.
In her memoir, The Wild Oats Project, Rinaldi explains,
“My first step was placing an ad on nerve.com, a kind of intellectual version of Craigslist’s Casual Encounters. Under the heading: ‘Good girl seeks experience,’ it read: ‘I’m a 44-year-old professional, educated, attractive woman in an open marriage, seeking single men age 35-50 to help me explore my sexuality. You must be trustworthy, smart, and skilled at conversation as well as in bed.’
I wonder if asking men for sex on the internet will actually work?
News of how the husband marketed himself is information I don’t have but if he’s like me, he rolled solo to the local Chili’s, made zero conversation, and left his number for the pregnant waitress on the receipt for 12 Bud Lights.
Robin would sleep with 12 different men before the experiment ended–including a few 23-year olds and an astrologer named Jude. Jude kind of sounds like a pussy.
Robin also found out about her partners escapades: he had been consistently hooking up with a much younger girl without using a condom.
Turns out, having sex with other people wasn’t good for the Rinaldi marriage. It ended and Robin eventually married a man she had slept with in the experiment and they are living happily ever after.
No word on how the 44 year-old ex-husband and his much younger girlfriend are doing but from that but from context clues I’d guess he’s keeping busy.
You can read about the passionate details of Rinaldi’s sexcapades by purchasing her memoir, The Wild Oats Project for $19 on amazon, or you can watch people have sex on the internet for free.
[H/T NY Post]