Woman Caught Sexting On The Subway And Her Messages Are The ‘How NOT To Be Sexy’ Manual You’ve Been Waiting For

There is an art to sexting the same way that there is an art to writing. Some people are born with the gift, some people can be taught…but the majority of the population blows. They blow fat donkey cock on a Sunday afternoon in the back of their family’s barn during Thanksgiving, quietly giggling about how sexy they are when in reality the receiver of whatever borderline illiterate and completely boner-killing texts they just sent actually read “Am horni, r u? Lez fuk bby,” as opposed to what they thought was basically the new Fifty Shades of Grey. That’s not to say I’m any good at writing either – but to be clear, I write a mean sext.

This woman on the subway, however, does not.

In case you’ve got splooge in your eye and can’t read what her phone says, here’s some clarity for you:

…over and over saying I wanna cum on your face !!! Working yourself up to explode feeling it cumming out inside me hearing you say…

…had been in pussy!!! I am wet and my boobs need your dick between them can’t wait to have your sperm all over them !!! then I am going to rub m…


Fuck yeah !!! Sperm !!! Tits !!! EXPLOSIONS !!! “Nothing is hotter than sperm and exclamation points!” is what I would say if I were this sadly deluded woman trying to seduce another sadly deluded person in this sad sad world !!! But who has time to be sad when we’ve got EXCLAMATION POINTS !!!

In case you didn’t get my sarcasm, exclamation points suck. Wanna know what sucks more than an exclamation point? Three of those bad boys in a row with an awkward space between the first one and the last letter of whatever word preceeds it. #ProTip.

[H/T Elite Daily]