To an extent, you have to really respect the drunks out there who’ve crafted the art of being shitfaced to the point that they can now get their blood alcohol content above 1.0%. If 1% doesn’t sound impressive to you, let me put it in perspective:
Yeah, anything above a .31% will probably fucking kill you, so to get to a 1% and up takes some intense dedication. And before we begin, no one died. Somehow. Which is a mind-blowing fact in itself, considering that most of these people seem to be at least a few steps shy of Forrest Gump functionality.
1. The Polish Guy Who Got Hit By A Car
In March 2009, a 45-year-old man was admitted to the hospital in Skierniewice, Poland, after being struck by a car. The blood test showed blood alcohol content at 1.23%. The man survived but did not remember either the accident or the circumstances of his alcohol consumption.
2. The Guy Who Decided To Steal Sheep And Drive Around
In South Africa, a man driving a Mercedes-Benz Vito light van containing 15 sheep, allegedly stolen from nearby farms, was arrested on December 22, 2010, near Queenstown in Eastern Cape. His blood had an alcohol content of 1.6%. Also in the vehicle were five boys and a woman who were also arrested.
3. Poland Again? #Winning
In Poland, a homeless man was found sleeping half-naked on January 28, 2011, in Cieszyn. His blood had an alcohol level of 1.024%. Despite the temperature of −10 °C and extremely high blood alcohol content, the man survived.
4. For Fuck’s Sake People, Stop Driving
In December 2004, a man was admitted to the hospital in Plovdiv, Bulgaria, after being struck by a car. After detecting a strong alcohol odor, doctors at a hospital conducted a breath test which displayed the man’s blood alcohol content at 0.914%. The man was treated for serious injuries sustained in the crash and survived.
5. No Really, Driving Is Bad…
In February 2005, French gendarmes from Bourg-en-Bresse, France, conducted a breath test on a man who had lost control of his car. He had an alcohol content of 0.976%. He was not injured in the accident but was charged with a €150 fine and his driving license was canceled.
6. Where Are The College Kids On This List? Oh, Here They Are
In 1982, a 24-year-old woman was admitted to the UCLA emergency room with a serum alcohol concentration of 1.5% (1,510 mg/dL), corresponding to a BAC of 1.33%. She was alert and oriented to person and place.
7. Why Sleep In Your Bed When You Can Sleep In A Ditch?
In 2013, on July 26 a 30-year-old man from Alfredówka, Poland, was found by Municipal Police Patrol fromNowa Dęba lying in the ditch along the road in Tarnowska Wola. At the hospital there was recorded that the man had 13.74 permille of alcohol in the blood (1.374%). The man survived.
So now after a night of drinking and waking up disgustingly hungover to the point where suicide seems like a good route to go, think about the morning these people had…and then quit your bitching.