4 Exercises You Should Stop Doing — Right. Fucking. Now.

by 3 years ago  •  6 Comments

It’s often said that there are no bad exercises, which I believe to be completely true. There are however certain exercises that people continually fuck up, and that continually fuck people up. Either because they do them horribly wrong, or they place certain parts of the body under so much stress that it’s only a matter of time until something gives out.

Before you start hitting the gym hard to get a 6 pack by summer, here are 4 exercises you should stop doing right now.

Bench Dips:

Dips are a kick ass exercise to develop good triceps, shoulders, and chest. Doing dips with your hands on a bench? Not so much. Putting your hands on a bench puts your rotator cuff and shoulder joint under so much pressure they’re likely to blow faster than Kim K at an NBA All Star weekend. The internal rotation your shoulder has to go through as well as the relatively light load you’re forced to use makes these a worthless exercise in futility.

Try this instead:

Most good gyms will have a set of parallel bars. These are an ideal replacement to perform dips. You can keep the shoulders safer, vary your body position to change where the emphasis is, and add weight to make it more of a challenge.

Upright rows:

For most bros out there looking to build boulder shoulders upright rows are a part of the routine. Except they shouldn’t be. The amount of internal rotation your shoulders have to do is actually pretty impressive, but that doesn’t make it safe. It just makes it an exercise that over time can wear down your shoulders into creaking angry old fucks that constantly bitch at you every time you pick something up.

Try this instead:

Use a little body English (we all know you already are) and turn the upright row into a high pull. A high pull is actually an Olympic style lift that basically involves using your hips and legs to initiate moving the bar upwards, followed by what resembles an upright row. It’s a kick ass move to develop athleticism, total body strength, use more weight, and build stronger shoulders.

Box jumps:

Box jumps used to be my fucking jam. Until I realized I should quit being a dumbass and I’m gonna hurt myself. Seriously, when the fuck is it really going to be beneficial to jump that high? It sure as fuck won’t be useful when you jack your shin against the box or snap your Achilles jumping off it. But at least you’ll be able to tell people you nailed that 50’ box jump.

Try this instead:

Jump roping. Channel your inner Rocky Balboa and grab a jump rope. Jump roping is an excellent conditioning exercise and one that you can do virtually anywhere. Jump roping also burns more calories per minute than any other exercise out there. No effing joke. It’s an excellent tool to use at the end of a workout, or between sets if you hate cardio like I do. It’s pretty shocking how tired you can get by knocking out 30 seconds of jump roping in between sets of curls. It can also help build some pretty impressive calves, and make your feet lightning quick on the dance floor.

Behind the head lat pull downs and shoulder presses:

This is two exercises in one, because both get equally fucked up. Seriously, stop doing lat pull downs and shoulder presses with the bar behind your head. Not only do you look like an idiot, but you’re placing your cervical spine under more stress than Brian Williams was in Vietnam. It’s just a matter of time before someone snaps their neck from doing these things like a jackass.

Try this instead:

Just bring the bar down right in front of you for fucks sake. Not only will you feel a better contraction in your lats and shoulders, but you’ll get even more range of motion. Turning two exercises you were royally fucking up into two exercises that’ll help you build an impressive upper body. You’ll also be able to move your neck when your 50 years old, which I hear is important later in life.


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