Jerry Rice Is Apparently the Coolest Dude Ever

by 5 years ago

CBS's Will Brinson just linked to a great story from the blog “Ring Finger Tan Line,” which is a female-centric blog that normally writes about recipes and stuff and probably never would have thought it'd be linked to by BroBible. But this happens when you share a flight with Jerry Rice.

The anonymous blogger who shares this story is not a football fan at all, so she had no idea who the tall guy was who sat beside her on a plane. She did notice, though, that he was attracting the attention of pretty much every guy around their seats.

We began to chat, and as more people passed by, I started to realize that my seatmate was kind of a big deal. Men stopped in their tracks, shaking his hand and ogling like idiots. Not a single one could squeeze out more than five words to the man.

Who in the f*ck is this guy? I thought to myself. I supposed if his aim was to find the only unintimidated soul who didn’t know who he was to occupy the other seat, he had succeeded.

“This is why I snatched you up,” he said to me, leaning in. “All these huge men keep wanting to sit next to me, and I tell them no. How am I supposed to have any arm or leg room with those dudes? No way. Had to draft you before another one tried,” he said with a slight wink. 


She finds out he's Rice after seeing a signed boarding pass dropped by a flight attendant. They begin talking during the flight, and he turns out to be a total dude.

He was a big f*cking deal. But since we had already started chatting, I didn’t feel starstruck or threatened. We bantered the whole way to Los Angeles, about everything from relationships to Dancing With the Stars to (yes) football.

We discussed all of his Super Bowls. I made him practice his next ESPN analyst report on me. We bonded over our failed marriages. He laughed hysterically when I told him about the guy who bought me tomato seeds on a date, and told me that the guy who let me pay on the second date was a “total loser” who “needed to get lost.” (This was particularly entertaining since I know how much that guy loves football. That’s right. Jerry Rice thinks you’re an asshole, asshole.)

I couldn’t help but laugh the whole plane ride. First of all because Jerry was fucking hilarious. His re-enactment of a call he made to some dude who was bugging his daughter nearly made me snort, as did the fact that he was forced to wear tight pants on DWTS, but absolutely refused to put a sock in his pants like they wanted him to.


If you're inclined, you can read the rest of the story here. It's worth it—if only to remember that guys in sports aren't all bad.

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