J.J. Watt Finally Figured Out What Rich People Buy

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Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

It’s taken almost a month of Googling, but J.J. Watt finally knows what rich people buy. Hint: Nice. Fucking. Things, including a Range Rover for the lady who gave you life as a present on her birthday. It’s certainly a nicer gift than the ear wax removal vacuum I gave to my mom.

What? Everyone has ear wax, assholes. It’s a sensible gift.

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