Jon Hamm’s Opening Monologue at the ESPYS Last Night Wasn’t Kind to Dwight Howard, Ryan Lochte

Unfortunately, our team finished at a mere -6, which was good enough for something like a tenth place finish, while Stan Verrett's team –which was the group directly behind us — lit up the course and made only one par their entire round finishing at -17. To say it was deflating to watch them surround every single hole they played would be an understatement. At one point, when they caught up to us, Verrett said one of the guys in his group was the best golfer he ever played with, and I believe it; every time I looked back they had four, six foot putts to choose from, we were lucky if we had two.

One of the cooler features during the tournament, aside from all the swag we got from Clear Men and others, was that we had a live scoreboard in our carts that showed us how every group was doing and as the holes amassed so did Team Verrett's impressive score.

Anyway, it was a great day and all a part of the lead up to last night's ESPYS with host Jon Hamm. In his opening, Hamm took some shots at athletes, but you'll notice those shots were fired in the direction of people who weren't even in attendance. But I have to hand it to him, he killed it. The video is below, and big THANK YOU to Clear Men Scalp Therapy for sending me (check out their ESPYS sweeps to win a chance to go to next year's ESPYS), as well as a regular-sized thanks to Cart Path Cohn for not using all of my sunscreen, just the majority of it.


And here's Tony Gonzalez and CLEAR Men at the ESPYS