March Monotony: The Commercials We Can’t Take Anymore

by 7 years ago

The new broadcasting format allows the viewer to jump around from game to game, but even the most trigger-happy flipper will still incur the inhumanity of these lame ads. The problem is exacerbated online, where a different crop of spots repeatedly assault those who are slow with the Boss Button.

March Monotony
This one appeared on our radar before the tournament even tipped off. It should have been a sign of things to come. Studio analyst Greg Anthony asks if it is “March Monotony” or “March Madness.” Why? Well, there’s no good reason. Not a single person in the history of man has said “March Monotony.” This is far and away the worst of the bad lot because its premise is the most pointless.


House Arrest
Props to Charlie Sheen for capitalizing on his bad-boy image. This one really isn’t so bad. It’s just the repetition. That and it gets a little creepy when he asks the sultry model what he gets for bad behavior. Considering his history with pay-for-sex enthusiasts, he should probably already know the market.



Buick Verano Tour Bus

Is anyone stupid enough to base a new-car purchase on the fact they can get streaming Pandora? That seems borderline insane to me. And who does this lady think she is? What a terrible use of resources it is to follow her around with all those gas-guzzling tour buses.

AT & T Phone Summoner

Taking your phone to a romantic dinner isn’t even a social faux pas anymore, for one. Secondly, what person is unaware that a smart phone can be used to get in-game updates? Sadly, this one’s been in heavy rotation for over a month now. Still, our tolerance to it has stayed stagnant.

State of Intimidation

We get it. Bobby Knight is a jerk. He’s been a jerk for, like, forever. This commercial is trite and unoriginal. Sad this spot lasted longer in the tournament than Pat Knight-led Lamar.


Brackets By Six-Year-Olds

We’re all doing just fine, thank you. We don’t need your snot-nosed kid’s unsolicited opinion.

TAGSCommercialsmarch madessNCAA