Mall Santa Tells 3-Year-Old The Toronto Maple Leafs Suck, Is Promptly Fired

by 5 years ago

A wise-cracking bad Santa is now on the unemployment line after the “jolly” old elf insulted a three-year-old who was first in line to visit him Wednesday.

Mary Trent says she was shocked by the behaviour of the Lowe’s Toronto Christmas Market Santa Claus as her son approached him. After Santa arrived a half hour late for his appearance, he proceeded to insult the boy’s red plaid coat.

“The first thing he tells my son is, ‘Oh, you look like Paul Bunyan,' ” she said. “Really? Is that appropriate?

“Then he said, ‘Oh, you’re wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs tuque, you shouldn’t be wearing that, they suck.’ At that point, I took my son and told him we should go, Santa isn’t being very good today.”

Trent said her son was inconsolable and cried all the way home to Mississauga.

The kid’s mother apparently had to go through the excruciating process of explaining who Paul Bunyan was and why the Maple Leafs suck. God, she deserves millions in restitution, right? What heartache!

I’m sorry, but dealing with a too-skinny Santa that reeks of booze and Acua Velva is just part of being a kid. In my day, you sat on the poor bastard’s lap, told him what you wanted, and dealt with his insults like any other school bully.

Do better, Canada. Do better.

[H/T: Toronto Sun]

TAGShockeyKids!NHLToronto Maple Leafs

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