Sports News Anchor Tells Viewers To ‘Give Up On Your Dreams’ And Starts Drinking On-Air After Caps Hockey Loss

Well he’s right about one thing: you should definitely give up on your dreams. Is your dream to become an astronaut? Quit while you’re ahead. Trying to become the first human to spontaneously grow a third arm? Stop it right now. Wanna get a 4.0 this semester? HA, why don’t you just go to the bar where you belong and get drinking already. Dreams are dumb, the caps lost and just because inspirational movies say “You can do it if you try hard enough!” doesn’t mean the real world works like that – the real world will chew you up, shit you out and then light you on fire in a paper bag on someone’s porch.

Quit now before you start and no one can say you failed.