The best man speech is a sacred and singular expression of brotherhood that is reserved for a special day: the day you get drunk at your best friend's wedding. But it's not all fun and games; best man speeches can drone on or take a turn for the embarrassing more easily than you'd think. Here are some do's and don'ts for a successful best man speech.
Talking about the wedding night or anything else that has no place in a best man speech is crude to do in front of Grandma Eloise and you're better off saving it for a time when never.
Okay, you can be a little inappropriate if you want, but keep it relative-friendly. Jokes are appreciated, but don't rely on marriage tropes for cheap laughs.
Weddings are so formulaic, so how about you don't be? Say something different. Entertain your audience. Give the bride and groom something nice to remember. A little extra effort goes a long way.
The most important thing in any best man speech is to talk about how good the married couple is together. A funny story or something you think is special between them will strike the right chord with your audience.
The amount of "funny" it is to you and whoever else knows about it is not equal to the amount of "confusing/stupid" it is to everyone else.
Your boy chose you as the best man for a reason: because no matter how he communicates it, you're his eternal wing man. Pay him the respect of showing a little heart in your speech.
Unless you've got a great story or a seriously well-written speech full of wit and emotion, don't go on too long because you're going to bore everyone. They're all sitting there eating their over-cooked filet waiting to get back to the bar or the dance floor, and the last thing they want is to hear you drone on and on.
I mean sure, be a little drunk and loosen up your delivery, but don't be normal wedding drunk and slur your way to painful-to-watch best man speech infamy.