Guy Leaves Amazon Review For Sex Swing And A Clever Use For It When You’re Not Banging

Amazon product reviews are usually incredibly helpful. It’s one of the first places I check before buying a product. I usually ignore the super positive reviews and head straight for the one and two star reviews for the reasons a product didn’t deliver on its promises.

The best thing about Amazon reviews is that EVERYTHING is reviewable. If it’s for sale on Amazon, it’s reviewable. Even sex toys.

An Amazon customer stumbled across this 5 star review for the OptiSex Romantic Fantasy Swing Kit and it’s opened up so many questions in my mind. Here’s the review from a person named Arran.

Thank you, Arran, for pointing out an additional use of the sex swing but here are the questions I need answered:

  1. Did you buy the swing specifically for this purpose OR did you buy the swing for its intended purpose and realize “oh this would be good for…”
  2. Have any of your neighbors ever caught you with your St. Bernards hanging from a sex swing
  3. You HAVE to have pictures. Can we see pictures?
  4. Have you continued to use the sex swing for sex AFTER you’ve used it as a St. Bernard wash station?
  5. Doesn’t the water dry out the leather?
  6. Have the St. Bernards ever tried to use the sex swing for its intended purpose?

I’ve got more but I’ll wait for your answers, Arran.

[via GQ]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.