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Athletes have been coming up with excuses for failing drug tests ever since drug tests became a thing, and some of the stories that people make up to try and avoid getting punished can be truly amazing. You’re probably familiar with the “secondhand smoke” excuse, but you might not be familiar with the time the North Korea women’s soccer team said consuming deer musk after getting struck by lightning made them test positive for steroids and when a cyclist claimed that a twin he had absorbed in the womb was responsible for foreign stem cells that were detected in his system.
We might have a new inductee into the Crazy Excuses Hall of Fame thanks to New York Jets wide receiver Jeremy Kerley, who was suspended for four games early in November when he was found in violation of the NFL’s performance-enhancing substances policy after he tested positive for the steroid Turinabol. Kerley vehemently denied he’d used the drug in a statement he issued after the suspension was handed down, and as he prepares to take the field this Sunday, he has a new theory for why he failed the test.
WR Jeremy Kerley said he wasn't sure how a banned substance got into his system. Suggested a ghost might have done it. #Jets
— Andy Vasquez (@andy_vasquez) December 13, 2017
If this attempt at an explanation sounds familiar, it’s because Kerley took a page directly out of Randy Marsh’s book as seen in the “Over Logging” episode of South Park. While you might not believe his explanation, I’m personally going to be on the lookout for supernatural entities roaming the afterlife with the intention of contaminating urine samples.
You can never be too careful.