11 reasons why someone should hire Maria Menounos right now

Maria Menounos got into it with Mario Lopez—now she’s out of luck and out of a job. So here’s her resume, here’s why somebody should hire her right now.

11. She’s a dude with boobs

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10. She, um, shakes well

9. Like, really well

8.Men are like putty in her hands

7.She’s not afraid to show a little skin

6. Because this gets TV ratings

5. She throws a mean punch

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4. Because bouncing

3. Because dammit, she’s adorable

2. And wait, what? Have mercy!

1. And really if you don’t hire her, she’ll rub your face in it forever—and by face, I mean butt