Sorry Bros, Amanda Bynes is no longer on the market because she’s been swept off her feet by some other boy, and she’s got some pret-ty high standards when it comes to her choices in men. Case in point, the boy she’s currently engaged to:
The 28-year-old told In Touch Weekly exclusively that she not only has a 19-year-old boyfriend named Caleb, but also that they’re engaged! Her claim comes days after her arrest on DUI charges in California and a return to the concerning behavior that caused her to spend months under medical care.
“I am very needy for friendship and I hate men. I want to f— them, but I can now say I’m engaged — get away from me,” she told an In Touch reporter yesterday, Oct. 5. “I want to be married and I want to be away from people.”
She claimed her 19-year-old fiancé lives in Costa Mesa, California, and works in a bait shop. She told In Touch she hopes they can settle down in New York because she “really [likes] walking and riding [her] bike, and in California, you need to drive.”
Yep, Amanda Bynes is now engaged to a 19-year-old boy who works in a bait shop. DREAM BIG, KIDS. And for those of you who think that’s a little wonky even for Amanda, the crack-journalists over at Gawker did some intense investigation so that I wouldn’t have to.
…we decided to try and find a place [bait shop] that matched up.
It wasn’t too hard. Jimmy’s Fishing Supply store is off Newport Blvd. in Costa Mesa, just minutes from the West Coast Highway and Newport Beach. This afternoon I called Jimmy’s and asked to speak to Caleb—the man who answered the phone said that Caleb wasn’t working today and that he didn’t know when he would be in again because he was “on vacation in New York or something.”
And since we all know that Amanda is currently in New York riding her bike around like a drunk monkey…
There’s a chance that this is all actually true, in which case “what the actual fuck.” Amanda is 28 and this kid is 19, which means that when she was 18 and legal this kid was 9. What’s that equate to, fourth grade? This kid still had weekly spelling tests.
Now taking bets on what surprises Ms. Bynes has for us in store next week.